Tuesday, September 1, 2009

It was a dark and stormy night. Isn't that the way all stories are supposed to begin? If one begins a story It was a bright and sunny day it doesn't quite have the same oomph does it?

Fortunately, last night was indeed a dark and stormy night.

I was sitting in my living room pissed because the storm kept knocking out the cable and I couldn't get through this week's episode of True Blood without rebooting every four minutes. Can't I disappear into a world of vampires, shape shifters and telepaths for one damn hour!? Shit.

Somehow in the labyrinth of my techno shit, the Internet is connected in some way to the cable so fucking around on line wasn't an option either. I could send irritating little text messages to my ex boyfriend but that loses its novelty real fast when he refuses to engage in my bullshit.

So what's a gal to do?

Since I still had the lights, I decided I may as well be productive and gather up the clothing I wanted to drop at Goodwill this week. I emptied the drawers onto the bed and began sorting into three piles.

1. Awesome, I forgot I had that.
2. Charity or why the hell did I ever think that would look good on me?
3. No one would take this shit even if it is free.

What about underwear I thought? Does one give panties and bras to Goodwill or is that something that automatically goes into the trash when you are tired of them. I've always wondered that and have chosen to discard those articles of clothing rather than risk a worker holding them up by the corners and proclaiming...

"We don't TAKE used panties here".

How humiliating.

As I was sorting, I found a velvet lined box containing the things from my life I have wanted to save . Generally I am not a saver. I have a cedar trunk where I fling kids stuff in case they turn out to be savers but as for me...basically everything goes into the trash. Even the stuff I know I will probably end up buying again some day.

I open the box and I am slammed with the unmistakenable scent of a younger Christine. Love letters, cards that came with flowers, little trinkets given by old boyfriends that were no longer appropriate to keep out, the garter from my wedding to Jimmy's dad and a few petals of the bride bouquet. I was torn whether to unfold the letters fearing opening up old wounds with the pages. I thought about how this should be no big deal. How all this was in the past and it couldn't hurt me now. However, if the scent of the box hit me in the center of my being, what kind of damage could these memories do?

I tucked it back under some clothes for another day. A day I feel a little bit stronger.


Becky..AMHW said...

I'm fortunate to still be in quite a lot of contact with a large group of friends from high school. We all married around the same time (which is a very Utah thing to do) and so there was a car to cover in shoe polish, toilet paper, newspaper and condoms every month or so.

That's where goodwill underwear comes in. At least the infamous goodwills of Utah allowed it if it's clean...especially bras. Goodwill underwear, covered in sharpied messages of luck, hope, love, and lewdness, were hidden in the car (or even in their new apartments) to let our friends know we were thinking of them always.

I sure hope they kept some of those goodwill nursing bras in their memory trunks. I kept one or two.

Shiny Rod said...

Good thing you sorted through the clothes. us guys would just chucked everything in a bag and hauled it off to GW. I know peole need underwear but thats one item I just won't donate. Once it has gone past its usefullness with me, to the trash it goes. I use to save my old love letters but it upset my ex so I had to get rid of them so I burned them. I'll keep those memories in my mind all neatly tucked away in the back somewhere. I'll find it one day.

Christine said...

I could never throw them away. They all mean a lot to me. If someone took the time to write something with me in mind, I don't care who told me to burn them, it would never happen. Memories are one thing but the written word is something else entirely.

GiGi said...

I had a box like that too once, but it got destroyed in a hurricane. That's probably a good thing, looking back..because I should have gotten rid of most of its contents long, long, ago!

Vinomom said...

I am right there with you. No one could make me get rid of that stuff. I have quite a few things from my High School Boyfriend. Letters, trinkets etc. And I only bring them out when I'm feeing really really low. (Or really really drunk) They always make me cry. Save them, though. One day you will be feeling stronger and want to take a look.

Jenny Fabulous said...

I agree with Vino. I give stuff to goodwill all the time... minus panties. I fear the same thing!!!!!

Elle said...

I have that box. I have no idea where it is at the moment, and I'm glad. Every time I open it, it's like an open invitation to a Pinot Grigio hangover. But I love knowing it's there!

Coffeypot said...

Good idea about waiting till you are stronger to go down memory lane. If you are read it can be pretty painful. But, as for the panties, send them to me.

Libby said...

lol @ CP!
yup, look at that stuff when you're on top of things again, cuz as bad as it feels now, you WILL feel better & stronger, i promise, dammit! cuz if you don't, what hope is there for me??
BTW...tif had a box like that, she called it her "happy box"!

Efen said...

As 'non-masculine' as it sounds, I HAD a box like that myself, waiting til 'another' day to open and go through. One day I did...geez...what a flood of memories that started. Without going into the 'why' specifics...I threw it all away.

As for as 'used panties' go....I'm sure there is a 'market' out there...somewhere.

Christine said...

Speaking of market. I do see CL ads for used panties often enough to be disconcerting. Both buying and selling.

It takes all kinds, I guess.