Monday, September 28, 2009

I Found The Man Of My Dreams On Craigslist!

I’m seeking a mature lady to fulfill my “sugamomma” fantasy.

- Must be physically able to have intercourse.
- Must have a house/car, because I have neither.
- Must have good hygiene/lubricant if unable to self-lubricate

Sexiness not required, but is a plus!

I will:
1) Enter your house in a manner you see fit.
2) I strip in a manner you see fit (as a courtesy I request no thongs)
3) I will remove your clothes in a matter you see fit (light may be required to be turned off)
4) I will take an anti-depressant to increase my stamina and to disconnect with reality (may or may not be required)
5) We will have sex for no less than 3 hours and no more than 6 (positions/speed/kissing will vary)
6) You cook me a hot plate of your choice (I will decide on the atire you’ll be wearing while cooking)
7) I leave.

IF this sounds like you don’t be timid on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

I am not posting his contact information because I don't want one of you to snatch him away from me. After all, it is a once in a lifetime opportunity and those don't come around...well...but once in a lifetime.

I think once we meet I can talk him into wearing the thong. One can only hope.


razorbeck said...

he sounds like a catch maybe you could set up a regular thing

ass, food, out the door. who wouldnt want that

Shiny Rod said...

I think I'll stick with the slow tried and true date the woman, romance the woman method. Call me old fashion but I'm in it for the quality, not quantity. This is almost as bad as speed dating. But itf that's what cracks your bell, go gor it.

Christine said...

Oh Rod, where is your sense of adventure!!!

Karen said...

Seriously? 3 to 6 hours of sex. Who the hell wants that much activity? I think I'd be in pain after that.

Other than that, he sounds ideal to me.

Coffeypot said...

It's okay to tell them it was me. Hell I might even get more contacts to feel in the times I'm not with you. I mean, you can't keep something as good as me away from the world. There are just too many ladies that need my services to horde it alone.

Olly said...

I'm with Razorbeck. How can you top someone like that?

Trooper Thorn said...

3 hours? More like 3 minutes.