Saturday, March 1, 2008

I've been a member of the blogger community for several years now. We are an interesting little nitch in twenty first century society. A world unto ourselves. Some of us use blogging as an extension of our daily lives. It is put out there for friends and family members to get updates and keep in touch. Others use it to give political opinions and pop culture updates.

Still others to vent about what particular stick got rammed up their ass on that particular day.

As you kiddos are well aware, I fall into the latter category.

The blogs I keep going back to also fall into that category.

You all know we're the kewl kids. The kids that had our own table in the lunch room and sneered down arrogantly on everyone else.

I have tried to get on board with blogs that talk about Aunt Beulahs bunion removal or Little Joey's diaper rash but really....

I don't give a shit.

But when I stumble across a blog like that and I see 40 plus comments, I shake my head in wonder...

Who READS this shit? I mean I totally see the attraction of writing it. If you life is so sad that your musings are focused on bakes sales and play dates, well I would imagine having a social life online helps in not blowing your fucking brains out. But really....what the fuck is up with the other forty of you that not only read the entry but come back and read the same boring shit the next fucking day?!

So I, always the investigator of the mundane and pointless, follow the breadcrumbs and check out the commentors blogs.

Yeah, just as I suspected, they suck too.

So what I am proposing is a new warning screen that can go hand in hand with the adult content alert that is required when a naked boobie or two is contained within.

This one should say........

The following blog contains intense bragging about below average children and stupid fucking expressions like dear husband. You may find talk of hysterectomies and bake sales...perhaps a graph about weigh loss and if you really hit the tendious jackpot, a picture of a puppy or two. Do you agree to continue? If you click yes, go into your medicine cabinet, take DH's straight razor hidden behind your multi vitamin with iron, climb into the bath tub with generous amounts of that lavendar bath foam you use, settle in and slash your fucking wrists. You are already the walking dead so you may as well look the part.

I'll see the rest of you at the popular kid's table Monday.


razorbeck said...

lol Chris

How do you rate my blog besides seriously underwritten lol

Eunice said...

Oh so true! Most of the blogs I read religiously are simply well written and make the mundane sound slightly more interesting.

Then there are a few of my friends who have joined the blogging community that I would much rather stick a fork in my eye than read. Ugh.

I'm not a great blogger, but entertainment is the name of the game baby.

coffeypot said...

I'm still here!

Libby said...

chris...i've NEVER, not even once, sat at the cool kids table!! i was one of the stoners, and as far as i could tell, WE were the 'cool kids'!! we always laughed the most, anyway!

Burfica said...

Dammit!!!!! I've always occupied the dork table!!! Well the dork/stoner table.

I can rock to 80's hair bands better than you can pfffftttttt


I keep coming back to yours, cuz girlie you get your snark on. I usually do, but some days, I'm just boring as dog shit.

Special K said...

I am here, saving you a place for my BFF Christine!
I totally think that warning should be in place at many many places. Also? For the gaudy and illiterate.

Burfica you can sit with us. I am cool with 80's dorks cause, shhh I am one deep deep DEEP inside. Don't tell nobody.

Karen said...

That has to be one of the greatest warning I have ever read. Thank you for putting into words what I often feel.

The Doggy Did It said...

I could not fucking agree more!!