Friday, March 14, 2008

At 5am this morning, I found myself standing on line to check out at Walmart along side the streetwalkers who were grabbing a Snapple before going home to sleep off their crack high and the construction workers that already had a lingering odor about them which I can only assume was from yesterday's still unwashed clothing.

I had often wondered who shopped at Walmart at odd hours making it worth while for the establishment to remain open 24 hours.

Now I knew.

I hate Walmart on principal. Although I do believe in free enterprise, I do not approve of their business practices and the way their astronomic market share impacts how other companies are forced to do business.

Stepping down from soap box........

So, what the fuck was I doing shopping at the evil monster at that ungodly hour?

I needed a birthday gift for a kid's party tonight and had a breakfast meeting at 7am.

Isn't it amazing how all my principals go out the window when a Barbie Convertible is on the line?

I noticed several employees with blue smocks wandering around bearing a striking resemblance to the cast of the Night of the Living Dead. They were pushing around carts full of misplaced merchandise with glazed eyes and no expression on their pale faces.

It was rather disconcerting.

I wondered if I went up and snapped in one of their faces whether they would respond or try to eat me.

Having seen one too many horror movies in my time and noticing it was still dark outside, I decided to leave well enough alone.

I located the toy department and picked up a few things from Ms. Robert's line of plastic crap that subconsciously succeeds in causing all little girls to feel bad about themselves and looked around for the greeting cards.

There was a section of cards priced at forty eight cents.


That's .48, less than 1/2 of one dollar.

For a greeting card.

That wasn't yellowed or had the old salutation erased.

In 2008.

After being accustomed to paying three or four bucks for some shitty greeting with puppy pictures or sometimes more for very sad attempt at a humorous wish, I was shocked.

How do they sell these cards so cheaply?

Suddenly I had a flash of little Chinese children cutting down trees to make the paper as their little sisters set up the type set as their 90 year old grandmother hunches over a big vat of ink stirring, her little bony fingers scorched from the heat.

All for nine cents a day.

I may have been desperate for a gift but I can go to Hallmark at lunch for a card.


coffeypot said...

I don't understand the problems people have with Wal Mart. They have what I want at a lower price. That works for me. Any employment problems they have (mostly overblown by the liberal media); any humanitarian issues are a non issue with me. People are not forced to work at gunpoint. They are hired and work because the ask for a job. If it is long hours and little pay, that’s okay with me. They probably have nothing else to do in their country and, if the economy is such that one can live, clothe and feed a family on ten cents an hour, then ten cents is a good wage. Stop comparing the world to American standards.

And, if you walk up to me and slap me, I would be more than willing to eat you.

Christine said...

Mental note...don't ever slap Coffeypot.

Christine said...

If we are going to get serious about what my gripe against walmart really is, it isn't the overseas labor issue. It is the impact their quest for lower prices have on American companies. In order to have walmarts business, which of course is a necessity with their current market share, vendors have to lower the quality and labor costs of their merchandise. In doing that, even supplies previously manufactured in america need to be sent overseas for the vendor to make a profit. Often this isnt' good enough and a company with many successful years under its belt, goes under because it can't afford to live up to walmarts standards of cutting costs and lowering prices.

I don't concern myself with Walmarts employment problems as people can work or not work for that company.

However, when a company if forced to allow Walmart to dictate their profit margain...if any...or go under, that is the kind of monopoly I find damaging to a country that used to pride itself on its innovation and manufacturing excellence.

The Doggy Did It said...

Yeah I totally agree that walmart is the debol. But I shop there anyway.

I really just go to people watch...there really are some unwashed freaks in that place. Oh and I live in Texas. More babies walking around in nothing but a saggy wet diaper drinking directly out of a bottle of coke than a nascar race.

Its awesome.

razorbeck said...

I havent been in the new walmart they built in my town yet!! of course its only been 3 years theres plenty of time

Babzy said...

I saw the original Night of The Living Dead at an all night drive-in movie. It scared the crap out of us. The weird thing is that the movie ended at dawn around 5:00 AM which is the same time frame you saw the Zombies in Walmart. I think those clerks were the real deal. Good thing you didn't slap them.

Burfica said...

hahahaha I would have bought the cards.

I used some old christmas cards this year, some had yellow, people thought I bought them that way. go me!!!


janeywan said...


I just love your humor, I am definitely bookmarking your site. I've only read a couple of your posts today, but can tell your my kind of friend.

Yes and real men don't watch AI, or at least I haven't run in to one yet. lol.

Have a great day.

Special K said...

Hey I used to be one of those zombies that worked 3rd shift at Walmart.
I also think they are hyped up a bit much on their business practices, it is the corporate world, sucks.
I for one am in it for the all about me and when my non skank (most days) non whore (well those days are long gone) ass wants Rocky Road at 4 a.m. I only have to go 9 miles to satisfy myself.
Oh yes, it is ALL ABOUT ME!!

Oh and Burfica? I thought your Christmas card this year looked like your dog pissed on it..

hEE!! Just kidding. Mine was not yellow, I don't