Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Rumor Control



If you are one of the kids from the kewl table that have been around a while, you know that I run a small company.
I love what I do and enjoy most of the people I work with.

Most.

Because in every office there has to be one or two people that can not be happy unless tornadoes of shit are constantly swirling about.

You know the type. Not only do they listen to other people's conversation, they jump right in as if they have a right to know everything that is going on. Of course they must give their opinion as well.
Lucky me, I have a pair of these numnuts.

They both are hard workers and good at their jobs but Lord Almighty, they can get a rumor around as fast as steroids in the locker room at a wresting match.

One of my little stars has a small office catty corner to mine. When I oversaw the construction of the workspace we utilize, I asked specifically for my office to have extra insulation for privacy.

Which means her rumors are close but not quite right.

I guess holding the little glass to the door has its problems.

Yesterday I met with the accountant to discuss some financial concerns regarding the first quarter of 2008.

Concerns. That's all. The economy is slow and our numbers are slightly down.

Slightly.

This morning I came in to odd expressions on the faces of every employee to which I offered my typical good morning greeting.

I shrugged it off knowing if anything major is going on, I'd be privy to it soon enough.

I was not disappointed.

My assistant came in and wanted to know how many employees I plan to cut and from which departments.

Ummm, WHAT?!
When I asked what she was talking about she told me my neighbor, Ms. Gossip McNoseypants said she overheard that we are going to have to lay off 25% of our workers.

Now first of all, this woman doesn't even lie about listening at the door. She admits is freely and with no shame.

Secondly, she listens INCORRECTLY and proceeds to scare the shit out of people that now fear they are going to lose their jobs.

I attempted some damage control but it is hard to convince people that it really is a rumor when they are frightened.

I need to speak to the stupid twat but am trying to calm down so I don't rip her arm off and beat her to death with it.




10 comments:

Burfica said...

hahahaha Arizona is a right to work state, so you can fire people for no reason what so ever. Sounds like you need a right to work state to deal with little nosey one.

Boo said...

So I'm not being fired/laid off?

razorbeck said...

You get used to it Chris

I am either bankrupt or making millions........ sometimes at the same time

coffeypot said...

I think you should get everyone together and explain what happened, leaving nothing out, and advise everyone to discount anything she says. Then slap the shit out of her. God revenge is sooo rewarding.

Mel Chickk said...

Too bad when she was listening to your conversation and heard that you were "laying off people" that her name wasn't mentioned. I don't think she would have been so quick to spread that rumor. What a shit stirrer!

Christine said...

Burf: This IS a right to work state as well. She has been here almost since the company formed but getting rid of her has tempted me many many times in the past 10 years.
Boo: I couldn't loss you! :-)
Razor: I will NEVER get used to these idiots that scare the shit out of people for the pure joy of it. That is just evil.
Coffey: That is exactly what I am doing this morning but the fact that I have to, pissed me off.
Mel: I will work into the meeting a dig on her, believe me.

Special K said...

Reminds me of the old game telephone we used to play at parties when we were kids.
I think the answer to how many are you laying off could be answered easily.
2.
2 nosey twatsicles.

(why did I have Sesame Street's The Count in my head as I wrote that? BWA HA HA HA)

Alekx said...

Tell all the employees but her a bs speach you are going to have in your office and then let her listen in to an affair you are having with 3 men and a horse.

Hey it works for me.
:-)

Babzy said...

It's amazing how much damage someone like that can cause in a work place. We had a woman in our office who had a knack of stirring up shit. For example she would say, "Gee Mildred, I really like you even though Elmer hates your guts." or "That report you wrote was amazing. I didn't think you had that kind of intelligence." I could go on and on.

She caused so much damage in only a few weeks that the company (Sears) fired her. They rarely fired anyone no matter how much they screwed up. They believed in working with the employee to help them get better at their jobs but this woman damaged our morale.

Mr. Fabulous said...

That's one way to reduce headcount...