Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Tramp Stamps and Whale Tails

and lions and tigers and bears. Oh, my.

I am a hypocrite.

My attitude towards the world is live and let live..god unto others and knock yourself out.

Except please try to show a little class while you do whatever the fuck you want to do.

I took the kid to Dennys for our weekly ritual junk breakfast before school and was treated to a lovely view of the ass of the gal at the adjoining table the entire meal.

What amazed me is not only was she totally unabashed by her butt being on display, she offered it purposefully.

To show off her ass in her low rise jeans, purple whale tail and her tramp stamp.

At 7am.

In Dennys.

I totally get wanting to attract men and being half naked is certainly the way to do it. The construction workers and UPS guy were certainly enjoying the view unless they actually needed to go back and forth to the restroom four times each. However, it was fucking Dennys in the morning!

Always willing to research oddities for the benefit of all man kind, I quickly assessed whether Bambi was perhaps a leftover from the clubs last night.

You know the look...the finger brushed hair and the rumbled clothes from being on the floor all night after wastedly falling into bed with a stranger.

I mean not that I personally would know anything about that kind of thing.

Of course not.

Nope, this little gal was showered , spiffy and ready to start her day.

I hushed my kid who was babbling about something unimportant such as failing math or a school bully and tried to tune into the conversation going on at the next table.

Where was Bambi headed in that attire?

Her breakfast companion was a fully dressed young lady about the same age who fucking mumbled! The bitch.

Shit, I really need to learn how to read lips.

The best I could get was that they were indeed off to work after their nine cups of coffee and Asscrack was adamant about not taking any shit off the boss that day.

Okay kids, so tell me, what line of work permits employees to dress a perfect 10 on the Slut-O-Meter with normal work hours that doesn't involve a pimp?

I am at a loss.


coffeypot said...

WalMart ASSociate! ASStronomer! Clerical or Administrative ASSistant! Just a young girl who likes to floss her ass.

I have seen the sun come up many a morning after a night of celebrating. Today, of course, if I see the sun come up it's because I am on an animal transport somewhere. I leave Thursday night for New York. I like to drive at night.

Special K said...

Ok I was a Walmart ASSociate and we had to wear khakis and navy blue tee shirts. No fair.

I think I got a man for her. He has the penguin thing going on with his pants cinched above his knee caps and his WHOLE boxer ass showing.

Hey, I saw him at Walmart, maybe she has already met him?


Christine said...

I for one would like to know how Coffey comes up with these wise ass comments so easily. Am I jealous? Hell Yes!

Beth said...

With my ample ass, I like low-rise jeans (what fits my ass doesn't fit my waist) — but I always wear regular panties and a top that comes well below the waistband. My mama raised me right.

Thanks for the birthday wishes! Glad you came out of Lurkville.

Burfica said...

she ws probably a walmart checker.

lmaoooooooooo I just seen coffeypots comment, Great minds think alike.

How about pizza hut. Our employees at this pizza hut are like that, why it's called Pizza Slut here. hehehehehe

razorbeck said...

What gets me is women who dress this way complaining about not being taken seriously!

Oh and the same goes for the idiots with all the piercings male or female

Do you really think I will take you seriously and trust you with half a million dollars worth of my equipment when you can't even be trusted not to punch a silver dollar sized hole in you own ears?

Monique said...

A 24 hour strip club?

7 am is a bit early though to be walking around looking skanish though, even at a Denny's.

Libby said...

yeah, but chris, she sd something about not taking shit from her boss today...i bet he IS a pimp!

Karen said...

Skanks know don't have working hours. They are skanky all the time.

Alekx said...

Personally I'd of been taking little bits of pancake dipped in syrup and see if I could score a goal in her ass crack. but that's just me.

Pronto said...

Um, Which Denny's was this?

Got directions???????