Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Mommy's Special Snowflake


An employee's Mommy just yelled at me.
Pouts.

It seems I am a very bad boss to her little 22 year old princess and she is outraged.

It all started rather innocently. My receptionist announced that Mrs. Fuckedupbitch was on line 2.
"Who?" I asked.

"Mrs. Fuckedupbitch", she repeated. "Tiffany's Mother."

Since I had just passed Tiffany in the hallway I was curious what this could be about. So I made a huge mistake. I took the call.

"Hello Mrs Fuckedupbitch. What can I do for you?"

"I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU ARE MAKING MY DAUGHTER COME INTO WORK WHEN SHE IS SICK." This was yelled so loud I had to literally hold the phone away from my ear.

"Ma'am, I really have no idea what you're talking about. Do you want to speak to your daughter?" I asked, not wanting any part of some crazy dysfunctional family drama.

"I HAVE ALREADY SPOKEN TO MY DAUGHTER. SHE SAID YOU WOULD FIRE HER IF SHE CALLED IN SICK TODAY."

While I didn't say that today, Tiffany has taken far too many days off and I am aware that her direct supervisor has her on probation due to that fact. It is quite possible that she would get fired if she called in but I certainly wasn't sharing that fact with this crazy bitch.

"Listen, your daughter is an adult and I am not discussing her employment status with you or anyone else." I responded.

"WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO, MISSY (yes, she called me Missy) IS MARCH RIGHT UP TO HER AND SEND HER HOME. SHE IS FAR TO SICK TO BE AT WORK."

"Mrs. Fuckedupbitch, I have been more than polite and patient with you. If your daughter is sick, she should be mature enough to make the decision as to whether or not she should be at work."

"So, you wouldn't fire her if she had phoned in?" the shrew replied almost nice.

"I certainly did not say that. What I said was as a grown person out in the working world, your daughter has to set her priorities and determine if there will be consequences to actions either past or present and deal with them."

That was as close as I got to saying what I really wanted to say which was this:

If your dumb ass bitch daughter didn't phone in almost every Friday to go to the mall and spend the paycheck she got on Thursday on ugly belts, tacky hoop earrings and jeans that show off her tramp stamp she wouldn't be in this position.

"FINE!" (I guess the exchange of niceties was over). "TRANSFER ME TO MY DAUGHTER RIGHT NOW. SHE IS QUITING AND NEVER COMING BACK."

I didn't even say goodbye as I transferred the call back to the operator so she could find precious Tiffany.

Five minutes later, Tiffany barged in, without knocking, not the least bit embarrassed but with an attitude of her own.

"I Do NOT appreciate you talking to my mother that way."

Oh God, did I go to sleep and wake up in opposite land?

"Is there something I can do for you Tiffany?" I asked exasperated.

"No, I quit." and with that she flung her parking card at me and stormed out.
Good riddance to you and your crazy ass mother. 

Why do I suddenly wish that Tiffany didn't know what I drive?

Comment of the day:

Evil Twins Wife: I never read such a clear-cut case to actually show that assholism does indeed run in families.

17 comments:

Coffeypot said...

Since they think this way, I would have told her, you have a choice Tiffany. You can quit and not receive unemployment or I can fire you and you will be eligible. (But don't tell her that because of the reason she is being fired will result in a delay in unemployment payments or denial, but a firing will be on her record.) I am sneaky like that. I can be pissy, too.

Doc said...

I wonder if and when the last time you "marched" right anywhere and did something that some irrational person on the phone told you to do? I'm thinking pretty much never happened.... Great story Christine!

razorbeck said...

Coffee if they quit they have less chance of taking you to an employment tribunal

Doc employees especially young spoiled ones are just not rational so they do this dumb shit

I have had people who were supposedly too poor to eat quit because they didnt want to comply with the safety requirements

People is dumb

PS Chris I updated have a great day

razorbeck said...

Coffee if they quit they have less chance of taking you to an employment tribunal

Doc employees especially young spoiled ones are just not rational so they do this dumb shit

I have had people who were supposedly too poor to eat quit because they didnt want to comply with the safety requirements

People is dumb

PS Chris I updated have a great day

razorbeck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Golden To Silver Val said...

Well, Tiffany will probably get a boob job (compliments of mama), find a rich old man and not have to worry about the work world. She's too self-centered and spoiled to hold onto a job for long anyway. Its sad that her mother isn't a responsible parent who can properly mentor her daughter. Hope her position is filled with a person who has a family to support and can appreciate the income, rather than another airhead who has entitlement issues. Jeesh....how did you ever manage to keep your temper, woman!!! ^5 to u

Christine said...

I may just do that Val. It is a shit job..filing, running errands, putting out the garbage, picking up lunches..basically being everyone's bitch as needed so a younger person has always worked out better. Perhaps it is time to rethink that with so many people seeking jobs so desperately lately.

Karen said...

I smell a law suit. :-)

The Dish said...

It never would have crossed my mind to do that. But I never call in sick either. Should I have my Mommy call Mr. Burns and tell her she sucks at life?

Christine said...

I wouldn't be surprised karen. Dish..originally I thought her daughter didn't know she had called and would be embarrassed. Apparently Tiff was right on board with that plan.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I never read such a clear-cut case to actually show that assholism does indeed run in families.

GiGi said...

Oh my GAWD. Will she use her mommy as a reference for her next job?????

Special K said...

That is just over the top crazy. Seriously some apron strings need to be cut, boundaries made and some work ethics learned here.

Vinomom said...

That girl is never going to hold down a job except for McDonalds and the like. Self Entitle Brat. Just shoot me if my kid ever acts like that, because I've failed as a parent.

Christine said...

I am wondering VM what a manager of a mcdonalds would do? They really would be concerned about a law suit or alienation customers or whatever. Anyone know a Micky Dees head honcho?

Becky..AMHW said...

Oh my GOD.

Suddenly I feel like playing Barbies in my Disney Princess dress.

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