Consistency, thy name is Mother.
I had a shock this week in my personal life. One of those things that catch you off guard and take your breath away. I am not going to get too far into it other than to say someone I cared about very deeply has moved on with his life as was his right and quite honestly, his obligation to himself.
However, that doesn't make the pain any less.
So I did what any 40 something year old does in a situation such as this.
I went crying to my mommy for comfort.
Obviously you see how distraught I must have been to take such a step but it is hard to be logical when your emotions have taken over.
Her response was very reassuring and supportive...
"Shame on him!" she said.
Yeah. I thought. Shame on him for hurting me and not preparing me for this shock. Shame on him for allowing me to continue thinking our friendship was salvageable when he obviously felt it was not.
Whew. Thanks Mom.
Now what I should have done, was quit while I was ahead. But no, I never learn. I let her pour me a cup of coffee and she went on.
"Of course it is your own fault. You never did show the loyalty to him that you should have. You consistently make bad choices and then wonder why things backfire in your face. You don't give people the attention they deserve and expect them to just stick around for more abuse." Blah- Blah- Yada- Yada- you suck-
Sigh. Thanks Mom. Say Hi to Dad.
17 comments:
YIKES honey....I'll just say shame on him and stop there ! Hope your feeling a little better.
So sorry. Being hurt doesn't get any easier when we get older.
Sorry Mom is such a buzz kill... And sorry you were hurt!
Yeah... I quit going to mom a long time ago... Now, I go to Elle! She is a wnderful listener and she doesn't judge. No matter what.
I have a close friend I go to for compassionate conversation. My mom was much like yours - and that woman could hold a grudge forever, so if I told her something hurtful someone had done, she would hate that person forever, while I was just "venting", ya know?
yeah, obviously, you've now found out it's not a good idea to go to mom for comfort and sympathy when we get to be this age. hmmm...i'm really sorry, you know. although it's a good lesson for you to learn about what anna's going to want in her future, as far as how you want her treated!
Good point Lib. Jimmy is constantly amazed at his granny and how I survived her. Of course he plays her like a violin being the golden child but even he notices that she can be nutz.
Sorry to hear that Christine. I know your pain all to well. I pour my heart out when I think someone is receptive jus to see it dashed upon the shores of despare. Karen, you are so correct, the older you get the more it seems to hurt. It also gets harder to put yourself out there again but you do in hope that the next one will be the person who loves and supports you through whatever may come. I did it twice and got kick in the proverbial, well you know so now I play things as they come. I see no interest, I back off. i gets better as you move past it. Cheers, chin up, now go out there and try it again.
I can't say anything that will make you feel better, but, if you want, I'll track down the son-of-a-bitch and kill him slowely for you. Or worse...make him live with my ex for the rest of his life.
Coffeypot - I think they consider that cruel and inhuman punishment.
Wow. thanks guys. This is really nice. I'll survive. There are worst things than an ouchy heart and a bruised ego.
Although CP offer is tempting... How much would a thing like that cost? lol
I have to learn to stop going to my mom, too....its always the same old shit. Sorry to hear about your troubles....{{hug}}
I posted the response to your question on my site. Thanks Christine
Ouch! Damn it, nothing like a bruised heart! :( (((HUGS))) I feel ya!
Really sorry an important person let you down. That is the worst feeling.
I rarely talk to my mom about that kind of stuff, although we have grown closer in the last few years. We are just so different.
I say find a great close friend to talk to. You are close to your sis as well.
I hope you feel better soon.
Vm: Can always talk to sis and sister in law..yup. Also have two lifelong friends. But then what would I have to blog about? Besides..everyone needs a smack down every once in a while and honestly, Mom was right. (Ssshhhh)
How much would it cost? Twenty to twenty five years. In my case that would be life.
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