There is shit smeared all over the work toilet seat.
Let me repeat that. There is SHIT SMEARED all over the toilet seat.
The toilet seat in the bathroom across from my office. The toilet seat that only employees use. MY employees that apparently didn't pay close enough attention when their mommies taught them how to wipe their asses. Those little tricks to prevent leaving shit residue on their asses thus transferring it to the toilet seat and their clothing.
Isn't it bad enough that I have to suffer the disgusting odors after lunch of people that apparently eat raw buffalo each night for dinner? No, now I must walk into the restroom to check my hair and makeup upon arrival to work only to be greeted by lumpy, smears of crusted doody.
So now I will wonder all day who, not only has shit stained all over his/her underwear, but who is so inconsiderate not to clean up his/her mess and allow others to enjoy something akin to a toddler's abstract art project.