Monday, May 4, 2009

I suck as a blogger. I am not real big on zoning into my sharing place so unless I have a beef, you kids aren't hearing from me.

Honestly, I have been so busy being fucking boring that I got nuttin' for ya.

Work is a place full of 40 year old children that tattle, spread gossip and smack each other down verbally. I am attempting to follow Roosevelt's immortal words, "Speak softly and carry a big stick" but I want to knock their pointy heads together and throw them to the unemployment lines and Craiglist help wanted ads.

SCM is living happily on the other side of the house. I see him a total of four hours a week which is four hours too much. He still irritates the shit out of me but I can put up with anything for four hours..

Well, maybe not watching FOX News or having anal sex. Which essentially are the same thing...Either one and I am getting fucked in the ass.

My mother is as bat shit insane and successfully building on her psychosis on an almost daily basis. Makes for some rather interesting phone calls to and from my siblings determining who's turn it is to be on the A list and who is due back on her shit list. We need to keep the cycle going for all involved.

The older brat is still claiming independence accompanied by his weekly calls of how he is going to starve to death if I don't take him out for a good meal at his favorite restaurant immediately. I think he is working and going to school. With his expertise of telling me what I want to hear, who the fuck knows? He could be running hookers out of Havana for all I know.

As for little brat, I am spending far too much time keeping her away from her "bestfriend" that resides across the street. They have been friends for six of their ten years of life. Originally I was playing good little liberal by encouraging the friendship between this motherless, (she left the state when she got knocked up by her affair partner), Fatherless, (he is in prison on drug charges and beating the shit out of his own mother) grandma raised soul. I thought my brat could actually be a good influence on her.

But as so often happens, it turned out that being bad it sooo much more fun. She's a sneaky little shit and encourages my daughter to do things that I already rejected. Together they are toxic and I am over it. I still feel sorry for her but I prefer to do it from afar and not while she is talking my daughter into riding bikes two miles down a busy road to get ice cream when they both know my wonderful kid isn't supposed to leave the block. (Best friend can do whatever she wants. Zero supervision)

So as you can see, dear kids, Christine is a barrel of boring.

Lucky for me, I am too busy to be depressed about it.


coffeypot said...

So...the older brat is running prostitutes in Havana. Can you get me a family discount? Just tell him I'm your Cousin John. But no pun is intended. My name is John and not a paying John that the hookers are use too. Just John the John. With a discount.

Jenny Fabulous said...

If I weren't pregnant, I would have nothing at all to blog about! I don't care what you blog about... I love ready all of your blogs cause you always have something clever to say that makes me laugh my butt off!!

coffeypot said...

Oh! And the way you feel about Fox New is the same way I feel about the Communist News Network or the Clinton Bullshit Station. Even more one-sided liberal reporting than Fox’s just to the right of moderate reporting. But my ass is labeled EXIT ONLY.

Libby said... used the wrong should be "a bucket of boring" lol! i think maybe you should buy cones & ice cream, and tell them there's no reason to go get ice cream cones, just go to the kithen & make 'em! lol!

vinomom said...

I don't watch the goddamn news, I choose to be completely uninformed instead.

I wonder if my kid is going to be someone else's little juvenile delinquent friend that their mother is trying to keep them away from.

Seriously, though, my daughter is friends with a little girl who has the worst parents ever. Zero supervision. I'm pretty sure she could make eggs and pancakes at the age of 2, out of self preservation. So I know what you're getting at. But I'd have the same take on it.

janeywan said...

Your humor always puts a smile on my face.

M Chickk said...

My daughter had a friend like your daughter's but it was the Mother in jail for murder and an absent father. She and her older sister were being raised by the Grandmother and her brother lived with an Aunt. She was a sweet girl when she was younger but I knew things were going to end badly when she reached Jr. High. Even though she was a straight A student and had not missed a single day of school since Kindergarten she was allowed to go anywhere she wanted and do anything she wanted. Less than zero supervision. I didn't have to end their friendship, which I was close to doing at the time, because she got tired of my daughter never being able to go with her anywhere. When she was a freshman in high school she had a boyfriend in his 20's. A friend of her older sister. Dropped out to have her baby, which she kept and hasn't been back to school since. I still cant believe that the family didn't press charges since she was only 14. Very sad.

Christine said...

That's the thing MC..If she is this manipulative now, I don't want to know what she'll be up to when she gets to middle school and (hopefully) beyond. The most frightening part is she is a clever little shit. It would be much easier to control the issue if she were ignorant.

Olly said...

Ah...the universal "bad influence friend". My daughter has a couple of those at the moment. I never thought I'd hear myself quote my mother so much with "BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT'S WHY". It all makes sense now...

namaste said...

"running hookers out of havanna..."


yeah, i'm with you on your little one's friend. feel bad for her from afar. we can't save the whole world.

you thought this was a boring post? i thought it was great!


donna said...