Wednesday, May 27, 2009

June is bustin' out all over
All over the meadow and the hill!
Buds're bustin' outa bushes
And the rompin' river pushes
Ev'ry little wheel that wheels beside the mill!

I am going to go bankrupt with all the graduations, weddings, birthdays and anniversaries next month.

However, it wouldn't be so bad if all I had to do was write a check. I can deal with that.

No, the problem is I keep getting fucking INVITATIONS requesting my presence at this events.

There are two types of people in this world. Those that are social and those that wish everyone would leave them alone in their dark and cool cave.

Guess which one I am?

So the thought of mingling for three straight weekends isn't on my list of "yippie" moments. It isn't that I don't like these people. They are all okay from afar. I just don't give a shit about their future plans or where they are going on their honeymoon. Geez..I don't even care about my own future plans (further than figuring how to get out of these g-d damn events.)

Regarding the two graduation ceremonies, I did manage to get out of those.

"If you think I am going to sit on some hot bleachers for three hours to clap to your kid for 30 seconds, you're out of your fucking mind. What time is lunch afterward?"

See, tactful and to the point. Who said I don't know the social graces. Humpf!

My baby brother is turning 40 so I need to figure out a gift for that. I will let his friends purchase the obligatory Depends, Geritol and Denture Cream.

Maybe a suped up Hoveround.

Of course they had to throw Father's Day in for good measure so I can attempt to figure out what to get the guy that has everything and if he doesn't, he doesn't want it.

On acounta it's June! June, June, June
Just because it's June, June, June!


coffeypot said...

You could go to the graduations and offer them a job. You could give your brother a jar of prunes. And just because I grunt "Who's ya daddy, who's ya daddy" doesn't mean I need a fathers day gift.

So, if you like being left alone, just ignore all the invitations and you will get your desires fulfilled.

Bitchy McBitcherson said...

I keep telling my siblings that they MUST stop squeezing out babies as all the birthday and christmas presents are getting ridiculously expensive, and are seriously impeding on my shoe collection!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Amazingly enough, we have not received any grad announcements this year!

If I were you, I think I'd be coming up with "urgent needs" of some sort that make you unavailable to attend other functions! :-)

namaste said...

wow. i didn't realize people sent out graduation invitations for non-family. i barely want to sit thru my own kids' graduations. there is no way i would sit thru anyone else's.

as for the weddings. umm... i guess it depends on how close we are to the couple.

you can always google gift ideas for the fellas.

"guess which one i am?"

haha, i'll be in the cave next to ya!

Libby said...

christine--maybe you have a business trip to himalaya in june??

Christine said...

Unfortunately not but the good news is my sister's family and Jimmy, Anna and I rented a condo on the beach the week of the 4th of July. I'll need it by that time!

Jenny Fabulous said...

Try living on a street full of boys (my step kids are boys) and there are 12!!!!! There is a birthday party every month!!!!!! My rule is.. they come to my kids party and send over a gift (usually $5-$10) and I'll send one for them.... if not... I go and just eat cake! Everyone on the block knows how much I love cake!