This morning I got severely behind schedule by hanging over the ole porcelain pony for 15 minutes as my body rejected the four sips of coffee I had consumed for breakfast.
This is the fourth time in two weeks I have made the kid late for school as my body betrayed me.
If I was actually having sex, I would think I was knocked up. However, since the last male junk I saw was almost three months ago and my tampax supplies have been depleted since then, I think I can rule that out.
I would like to blame the few pounds I have gained on a bun in the oven but alas, it was more like chocolate cookies in the oven with a big glass of milk.
The inventors of that prepacked cookie dough should be given an award for all the pleasure it has brought into the lives of single women everywhere...but I digress.
So as I start my day with a dull ache in my belly, I half wish I didn't cuss out my last doctor's office staff even though they did have it coming. How inept does a group of people have to be to not lose test results once but twice and then forget that you actually had them done in the first place?
Pretty fucking inept, huh?
After all the trouble, my tests could have at least been abnormal so I could sue their fucking asses but alas, I am fit as a fiddle.
If you don't count that pesky puking upon awakening thing.
Since I am far too ill to consider doing any of this paperwork on my desk, I am off to catch up on your blogs. Have a happy week.