Tuesday, May 5, 2009





How the hell did I end up with an assistant who insists on talking over me?

And why is it that I feel I am being rude when I shout...

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Okay, I only shout the f bomb in my head but it seeps out of every pour during any conversation that I must have with her.

Our exchanges generally go something like this...

Me: Jan, I heard from Mr Jones this....

Jan: Ok, I'll call him back and tell him blah blah...

Me: No wait..what I need is for y...

Jan: No problem, he is working on those contracts and I will ask him to blah blah..

Me: Well, that is fine but what I'd really like to kn....

Jan: You'd really like to know when they are going to be ready.

Me: CAN I PLEASE GET MY THOUGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH BEFORE YOU TALK OVER ME?


I understand that she wants to feel good about herself by coming up with the answer to what needs to be done before I ask her. But unless she begins taking better telepathy classes, it ain't gonna happen.

She is no Radar.

11 comments:

Olly said...

Switch her to decaff. Maybe she won't be so quick off the mark. Hell, slip her some valium if you have to, lol!

GiGi said...

Maybe if her telepathy improves, she will stop talking altogether. Just a thought.

gina said...

Start the conversation with, "Jan, shut the fuck up and listen." See if that helps. Then try finishing the statement. If that doesn't work, get a different assistant and tell her it's because you needed one who wasn't so fuckin' smart. Think she'll get the picture? Probably not, but what the hell, it's fun to think about, isn't it?

Libby said...

i gotta second olly here...slip some valium in her coffee!

coffeypot said...

You know those wooden door stops that look like a triangle? Shove one of those in her mouth whenever you have something to say. Then pull it out and let her talk - until you need to say something. Then pop back in. Works for me and my wife! The wood doesn’t taste that bad either and I have never gotten splinters.

namaste said...

christine, this has always been fail-proof for me with subordinates. and it also works for my kids. stop talking and stare placidly (icey-scarey-calm look).....hold it....hold it.....hold it......!

it scares the shit out of people. and it makes them shut the hell up.

;)

The Girl You Don't Bring Home to Momma said...

Throw something at her. Or spray her with a water bottle every time she starts. She'll stop sooner or later, just like a trained animal.

Christine said...

Wow. You kids are harsh! And they say I have trouble with keeping assistants due to my demands. I'd love to set you kids lose on my staff. ;-)

Jenny Fabulous said...

I agree with all of the above. Shut the fuck up already, bee-atch.

vinomom said...

You can train almost anything - dumb assistants included.

Try treats. Victoria Stillwell is all about positive reinforcement. When she is quiet give her warm hot dogs. When she talks, turn your back and/or leave the room.

It's all about conditioning.

Karen said...

I tend to do that too - talk over people when I think they know what are saying. I try to be considerate, but it never works out. LOL