I am the eldest of three children who are the product of your run in the mill dysfunctional family. Growing up we were three distinctly different individuals with distinctly different methods to torture our parents into submission.
To give you a brief example of the amount of insanity in my family, my brother recently informed my son that I was indeed the only one that turned out normal.
Yeah, enough said.
According to our birth certificates, we are all approaching middle aged. During my four decades of life, one would think I would stop letting the matriarch get to me.
However, I must give that gold star to my sister. She is amazing at dealing with Mother. Honestly, it is a site to behold. The woman can say the most hurtful and inconsiderate things and it will role off sis like the flab on Oprah's ass once a year.
While I am quite obviously clenching my teeth in order to prevent myself from arguing with the loon, sissy can turn it around get my mother joking about it and laughing.
I want to be just like her when I grow up.
Of course that isn't possible because I never plan to grow up.
As related here, today is another family gathering for a birthday. Actually, Mother is combining two birthdays in one which in itself means she is making some progress.
Of course the bitching has now been doubled.
It wouldn't be so bad if the bitching was directed at the people that are actually pissing her off. No, that would be mean, after all it is their birthday.
No, the rest of the family are subjected to the constant phone calls and the bitching. Somehow in the process of a phone call, she managed to piss me off.
Instead of taking Sissy's lead, I snapped back.
So now the other two have moved over to include moi on the shit list.
My only chance is to throw someone else under the bus to get the heat off myself.
I think Sis has been off the list far too long.