Sunday, June 1, 2008

Mommy's Angry

I am the eldest of three children who are the product of your run in the mill dysfunctional family. Growing up we were three distinctly different individuals with distinctly different methods to torture our parents into submission.

To give you a brief example of the amount of insanity in my family, my brother recently informed my son that I was indeed the only one that turned out normal.

Yeah, enough said.

According to our birth certificates, we are all approaching middle aged. During my four decades of life, one would think I would stop letting the matriarch get to me.

However, I must give that gold star to my sister. She is amazing at dealing with Mother. Honestly, it is a site to behold. The woman can say the most hurtful and inconsiderate things and it will role off sis like the flab on Oprah's ass once a year.

While I am quite obviously clenching my teeth in order to prevent myself from arguing with the loon, sissy can turn it around get my mother joking about it and laughing.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Of course that isn't possible because I never plan to grow up.

As related here, today is another family gathering for a birthday. Actually, Mother is combining two birthdays in one which in itself means she is making some progress.

Of course the bitching has now been doubled.

It wouldn't be so bad if the bitching was directed at the people that are actually pissing her off. No, that would be mean, after all it is their birthday.

No, the rest of the family are subjected to the constant phone calls and the bitching. Somehow in the process of a phone call, she managed to piss me off.

Instead of taking Sissy's lead, I snapped back.

So now the other two have moved over to include moi on the shit list.

My only chance is to throw someone else under the bus to get the heat off myself.
I think Sis has been off the list far too long.


Slick said...

Ha! Always always always keep a "scapegoat" in your backpocket.

If I were you, my sis would not only be under the bus but on top too!

Jay said...

Yup ... Sis is going to have to take her turn on the list. There just isn't any other option.

Summer said...

My sister and I take turns.
We're both on the good list at the moment.
I think.
Who knows?

Olly said...

I do my very best to stay off of everyones' shit list. Not hard when my sister and her daughter are career drama-queens. As of now they are not speaking to each other and various other members of family because each are accusing others of taking the wrong side. There is no right side. Morons.

The Doggy Did It said...

Yeah, that sounds like loads of fun. I would just tell her that if she does not stop her bitching, that your not going to attend shit anymore. Just because she is your mom, does not mean that you have to put up with her shit, or that she does not have to act like an adult.

Karen said...

I am the one who always ends up on the list. My sister is an angel. She can do no wrong.

Burfica said...

my mother was the queen of guilt trips. THE QUEEN!!!!!

I can feel your pain.

Special K said...

No wonder we are friends. I am the normal one too!

Whoo that was a mouthful.

So yay for patient Sissy's! I don't have one I am envious. LOL

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Is that person in the red-maroon-cerese really you? Red hots.

Libby said...

christine, when i read something like this, it just reminds me of how thankful i am to be the only girl in my family!!

warcrygirl said...

You're a better daughter than I; I don't even talk to my mother on the phone. I don't acknowledge her on Mother's Day, her birthday or any other holiday. I've tried but she keeps pissing me off.

Fortunately, my sis can deal with her so no harm done, right?