After being out in the single at 40 world for almost two years, I have come to the conclusion that it is fucking scary as hell out there.
With few exceptions, men over 40 that are single are single for a reason. They are either gay, been burned and are bitter as fucking hell or are bat shit crazy.
I've yet to date a guy that wasn't at least two of the above.
Just about the time I became resigned to sleep with my teddy bear..simply because I know where he had been... an interesting thing happened.
I realized that Stinky Cheese Man wasn't all the bad comparitively speaking.
Yes sirree it is that bad out there.
Actually, to give credit where credit is due, SCM has been working on himself in order to attempt to win back my heart.
When he found Who Stole My Peanut Butter and 100 Reasons Why I Hate My Husband, he was furious and embarrassed. But to his credit, he also took a step back and had a good look at himself from my eyes. He didn't like what he saw.
Do I think people can change? Honestly, I really do not. But what I do believe is that they can alter their behavior and control their emotions even if they can not stop having them.
SCM has worked hard to do that and I must give credit where credit is due.
It isn't only that he tried to change...it is he tried to change for me and honestly, after all this time and still trying to win me back gets a perfect 10 on the sappy AAWWWW meter. He's got a great job he has held for a while, has saved a bunch of money, impressed me with the single dad thing and was always available to kill the big hairy bugs with a moments notice.
As shocking as it may seem, he also has realized that toothpaste and soap are our friend when we chain smoke two cartons a week.
I think the biggest wake up call is when I kept comparing others I was interested in to him. SCM would have remembered my birthday, SCM would have done with the dishes after I cooked, SCM would have told me I look great in these ratty shorts with my hair sticking up. SCM would have brought me coffee when he got himself a cup and so on and so on.
Is my marriage going to work this time? Well, if nothing else, I will have tons of new material for my blog and afterall, what could be more important than that?