Thursday, June 19, 2008

After being out in the single at 40 world for almost two years, I have come to the conclusion that it is fucking scary as hell out there.

With few exceptions, men over 40 that are single are single for a reason. They are either gay, been burned and are bitter as fucking hell or are bat shit crazy.

I've yet to date a guy that wasn't at least two of the above.

Just about the time I became resigned to sleep with my teddy bear..simply because I know where he had been... an interesting thing happened.

I realized that Stinky Cheese Man wasn't all the bad comparitively speaking.

Yes sirree it is that bad out there.

Actually, to give credit where credit is due, SCM has been working on himself in order to attempt to win back my heart.

When he found Who Stole My Peanut Butter and 100 Reasons Why I Hate My Husband, he was furious and embarrassed. But to his credit, he also took a step back and had a good look at himself from my eyes. He didn't like what he saw.

Do I think people can change? Honestly, I really do not. But what I do believe is that they can alter their behavior and control their emotions even if they can not stop having them.

SCM has worked hard to do that and I must give credit where credit is due.

It isn't only that he tried to is he tried to change for me and honestly, after all this time and still trying to win me back gets a perfect 10 on the sappy AAWWWW meter. He's got a great job he has held for a while, has saved a bunch of money, impressed me with the single dad thing and was always available to kill the big hairy bugs with a moments notice.
As shocking as it may seem, he also has realized that toothpaste and soap are our friend when we chain smoke two cartons a week.

I think the biggest wake up call is when I kept comparing others I was interested in to him. SCM would have remembered my birthday, SCM would have done with the dishes after I cooked, SCM would have told me I look great in these ratty shorts with my hair sticking up. SCM would have brought me coffee when he got himself a cup and so on and so on.

Is my marriage going to work this time? Well, if nothing else, I will have tons of new material for my blog and afterall, what could be more important than that?


razorbeck said...



Terry said...


Women over 40 that are single are (probably) single for a reason too.
It tends to work both ways but I can't believe you are choosing to be with someone you call stinky cheese man.

Christine said...

Well, not to his FACE terry. I only make fun of him behind his back like a good wife should.

Jay said...

I'm 40 and single, but don't which of those reasons apply. Except the gay one. I'm not gay. But, I am willing to learn. LOL


I don't think people can really change, but they can make honest efforts to be better about certain things. And that's a lot right there.

razorbeck said...

I never looked at this post that way

I am 39 and single. I am definately not gay, nor am i willing to learn to be. I dont have any mental illness, that I know of. Reasonably financially secure.

So it must just be the trend towards gigantism and being plug ugly. *sigh* Mother Nature you are a cruel bitch

Christine said...

Jay and Razor look at it this way, if you truly don't fall into these categories, you are in high demand. Lucky bastards.

The Doggy Did It said...

you go get you some of that stinky cheese girl!

Special K said...

LOL it is funny the way we re-think things sometimes! Loneliness is a bitch both in and out of a marriage, nobody wants to die alone and all that jazz but at the end of the day it is your life and your decisions. I know he is a good Dad to kiddo and he does worship the ground you walk on so that is two good qualities right there.

Just buy lots of Febreeze should he backslide into the land of cheese! :)
Best of luck to you Chris!

Terry said...

lol @ Jay "willing to learn to be gay".
Now that was funny - maybe Dane Cook could use you as a scriptwriter. God knows he needs one.
Why is there suich a need to be attached to anyone? Being single should be great. No being keptaway by a serial snorer for a start.
Look on the bright side . :)

Christine said...

Terry, there really isn't anything WRONG with being single. However if the choice is being single or getting laid well every night and having someone take out the garbage and clean up the dog shit..I'll take curtain number 2 any old time. It is all about choosing the one who annoys you least and after a bunch of dates and a couple of dysfunctional relationships, SCM is definitely the best of the bunch.

gordaboo said...

wow, i need to catch up. I lost you after peanut butter but you left a comment on my sisters blog and wah-la you have been given back to me.
SCM is back in the saddle!
I gotta go read.

razorbeck said...

Being single is hardly the worst thing that ever happened but i wouldnt reccomend it. Its one thing to have to hide from a serial snorer its quite another not to have to hide from anyone.

Its true I do what I want when I want but then there is also no one to share the highs or the lows with. No one to bring you that cup of coffee out of the blue or any of the nice things about being a couple

on the other hand it might be worse for me because I am single and live alone like a hermit when I am not working.

Libby said...

best of luck to you! i know what the hell you're talking about when you say "single after 40"...ya know, it was A LOT more fun being single at 23, right??

cassee01 said...

I think it's great.

Colin Brooks said...

I hope it works because it's better when it works. However the most important thing is that YOU are happy. We'll see, at the very least, like you said, blogging material is always appreciated. You have your audience to think about too. XD