Do you know what every one needs?
Space saver bags. You know the kind of bags that you shove your sweater in, suck out the air and it becomes as flat as a titty dancer before the boob job?
Yeah..we all need those.
About...errrr....14 of them.
And the Vidalia Slice Wizard! What a tool! You can slice thick or thin..make frenchfries..MOUNTAINS of them. salsa, tacos. Shit, it is SEVEN different kitchen tools in one!
Of course who could do without the Smart Spin. I mean you need a place to put all those sliced vegetables. It isn't like all of us actually COOK or anything.
Do you know what else everyone should have?
Nine..count them NINE Doo Whoop CDs.
Because you'll need something to listen too as you suck all the air out of those plastic bags and peel and store those onions.
Oh but no one should be without Inner Health Sole pads. These things clear all the toxins from your body through your feet. I guess how toxic you are will be determined by how black and gross those wonderful pads are when you peel them off.
I don't want any toxins in my body. I am sure you feel the same! For $49.95 plus $13.00 shipping and handling..those babies can be yours too!
However, do you REALLY want to know what we all need? Someone of sound mind to pull away the credit card and the cordless telephone at 3am when one has a fever and is buying all this shit.
I have felt like Steve Martin in the Jerk as I lay in front of the television wheezing and coughing.
I need thhhiisssssss. Oh, I've got to have thhhiiissssss.
I mean really, some of this shit is BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT I tell you.
Anyone know what channel QVC is on brighthouse? I have a long night ahead.