Saturday, June 28, 2008



Do you know what every one needs?


Space saver bags. You know the kind of bags that you shove your sweater in, suck out the air and it becomes as flat as a titty dancer before the boob job?


Yeah..we all need those.


About...errrr....14 of them.


And the Vidalia Slice Wizard! What a tool! You can slice thick or thin..make frenchfries..MOUNTAINS of them. salsa, tacos. Shit, it is SEVEN different kitchen tools in one!


Of course who could do without the Smart Spin. I mean you need a place to put all those sliced vegetables. It isn't like all of us actually COOK or anything.


Do you know what else everyone should have?


Nine..count them NINE Doo Whoop CDs.


Because you'll need something to listen too as you suck all the air out of those plastic bags and peel and store those onions.


Oh but no one should be without Inner Health Sole pads. These things clear all the toxins from your body through your feet. I guess how toxic you are will be determined by how black and gross those wonderful pads are when you peel them off.


I don't want any toxins in my body. I am sure you feel the same! For $49.95 plus $13.00 shipping and handling..those babies can be yours too!


However, do you REALLY want to know what we all need? Someone of sound mind to pull away the credit card and the cordless telephone at 3am when one has a fever and is buying all this shit.


I have felt like Steve Martin in the Jerk as I lay in front of the television wheezing and coughing.


I need thhhiisssssss. Oh, I've got to have thhhiiissssss.


I mean really, some of this shit is BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT I tell you.


Anyone know what channel QVC is on brighthouse? I have a long night ahead.

16 comments:

Libby said...

christine--kimmyk said the "magic bullet" (sounds pretty pornographic to me!) food maker thingy looked good enough for them to order...i think they used it once or twice...

The Doggy Did It said...

Poor baby, hope you feel better soon. Dude I totally tried those Kinoki foot pads...they are weird. My husband says that they are like tea bags for your feet. But, as far as doing anything...I don't think so.

razorbeck said...

Libby
Lend Chris your magic bullet so she can make margaritas, they might not make her better but they will make her think she feels better

Jay said...

I've resisted the Magic Bullet so far, but I totally broke down and bought the Tablemate II to put my laptop on. It's great! ;-)

Christine said...

Jay..I saw that. I don't use a lap top but I was thinking for a book...maybe i'll write down the number later.

Burfica said...

Oh my gosh we got the vidella chop wizzard thingie, (from a different place though and cheaper) And you know what??? we love it. I do all our onions on it, it does big dice or really small dice. I do cheese and eggs for egg salad too.

I love that dam thing.

I've bought a few t.v. things (always from a magazine I get where they are cheaper though) and that's the only one I can truly say we love and use all the dam time.

TLP said...

I've been silly enough to buy a couple of TV things, which I don't use.

But a better idea is to wait a while and see them pop up in some stores that have a "As seen on TV" section. When you can touch and see them up close you realize that
1. You're not going to use it.
2. It's a piece of crap.

TLP said...

Oh! I did buy the space saver bag thingie. I used it to suck the air out of my stuff so I could cram more into a suitcase that I was checking on a flight. Well....the damn thing ended up weighing too much and I had to pay extra because of that.

Olly said...

Something about being sick or sleep deprived makes you part with cash easy! When my son was first born and I was up all night feeding, etc, I almost convinced myself that life wasn't worth living without a Ronco food dehydrator. Luckily I borrowed one from a friend to try it out first. Didn't buy it in the end. The gimicks they sell at night are bad enough, but some of those dating service ads are really funny!

Christine said...

Fortunately being in the same two comfort tee shirts and my ratty hair pulled in a pony tail for the past week makes dating the last thing on my mind. Well, unless he has some home made chicken soup and ice pops. Oh, and will leave immediately after delivery of said items.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

You poor dear....This is one of thosze.."You'll Be Sorry In The Morning" type things!

I hope your fever breaks very quickly, otherwise you will have a gouse full of JUNK! (lol)

Special K said...

Girl at first I was all! Is Christine becoming one of those blogs for cash? OMG what the hell happened? HEE!
If you did I would still have to love you though cash blogging and welfare buttons will most of the time get you booted off my friends list. Hee!

Totally buy the Ped Egg! It is fucking wonderful! I have the feet of a 5 yr old! Seriously!
I love the Jerk!!!!!!!!!!
I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

Christine said...

LOL. I really love that movie. It is brilliant on so many levels

Norman said...

i bought my husband a blow up girl on some late night ad but he popped it. piece of crap

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I don't know. I have a hard time not buying all their bling and scented soaps.

Colin Brooks said...

Stop watching infomercials! It's not healthy. Not only do you seem to buy it all but these ads tend to make your brain think less than it should. We're talking "don't operate heavy machinery" less...