Why is every neighborhood child under ten in my pool right now?
They all have pools so that isn't it. The kids are always here...playing inside, in the backyard. in the pool or in the oven. (That is just wishful thinking).
Somehow the little shits got together and decided that I am the....Kewl Mom.
FUCK on a biscuit.
All the other parents get to send their kids out for the day to play. Not to be seen or heard from until the street lights come on but not Ms. Chris.
Oh no! I get to watch, feed and clean up after their little monsters every fucking weekend. And when I say every weekend, I mean every weekend.
I was recently informed by one of the snot nosed brats that I rock.
I thought about this for a while. Why do I rock? Why are they here and not down the block? What am I doing wrong?
And the answer came to me.
I don't give a flying fuck what they do here as long as they don't annoy me. The rules consist of no sharp objects, nothing that can cause a flame, don't' drowned the dogs and keep away from my booze. Other than that, it is a free for all.
Every once in a while I will bring out some juice boxes and chips and let them go to town. The dogs manage to clean up what lands on the patio and SCM bitches about old juice boxes in the skimmer but it is well worth it.
As long as they don't bug me.
In essence, I like it because contrary to what you may think..I am kinda attached to my kid and like to know where she is. I am not one to set her loose in the neighborhood looking for danger and destruction.
When she's here and putting dish washing soap in the pool to make bubbles, at least I know she's safe and sound.
Ut oh, it just got quiet, I'd better check for smoke.