Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Stinky Cheese Man rides back into town having traded his black hat for white with a plan to chip away at the 100 Reasons why I hated the smelly fucker.

Doesn't he understand that I have no material for my blog if he kisses my ass, makes awesome meals, pay the bills and keep the house spotless?

What a selfish bastard.

I am a couple of weeks late. No, I don't mean for high tea at Buckingham Palace, I mean I should have begun bleeding from the crotch many many days ago.

Since I had my tubes cut, burned, tied off and kicked around the floor by the surgical staff, it is very unlikely that a little SCM is cooking. However, since one of his husbandly responsibilities include servicing his wife every night, he noticed that Aunt Flo hasn't been around lately.

Not that he is complaining about the nightly workout but he did ask expectantly if it is possible that our little family could soon include another eating, sleeping, shitting machine.

I pictured this little bald headed, ugly baby with my bad attitude and SCMs horrible sense of humor and gasped. We lucked out with our 9 year old daughter. Fortunately, she is nothing like either of us.

She is actually sweet, funny, loving and generous.

I wouldn't dare tempt fate again.


Doc said...

I am the same way.... Only one for us... We got it right the first time and don't DARE want to tempt fate!

coffeypot said...

Maybe you will have an Olympic pole vaulter - since it was able to jump the gap between the tubes.

Special K said...

I think your plan worked out quite brilliantly.
Write "Reasons", let him find it, let him go his own way for awhile and think on it. Come back. Good as new.

You are so smart Chris! ;)

Christine said...

Yeah sure, SK. I am just waiting for the REAL SCM to appear. He is overdue. :-)

Burfica said...

could it be *gasp* the change???

I wish mine would hurry up and come (the change not the bleeding) I'm tired of messing with it. hehehehe

Christine said...

BITE YOUR TONGUE! I refuse to lose my PMS. I count on it to justify beating the shit out of everyone that pissed me off that month.

The Doggy Did It said...

I totally hate when my husband is all nice to me, and does not manage to get on my extremely exposed nerves...then I have nothing to bitch about.

razorbeck said...

welcome to menapause old girl

LOL i am such a shit

but ermm seems you let scm back in the house and between your thighs long before you told us!!!!!!!

Not sure how i feel about that but almost wish there is another loaf in the oven just for the laugh

what an ass I am

TLP said...

You're way too young to be missing periods! Can't be the big M.

BUT, when that big M does arrive, you will not miss the periods. You can still have PMS. I'm a bitch goddess. I don't need blood to be cranky.

If you are preggers with a little long jumper, it will be as sweet as the first one is.

Anonymous said...

get an abortion

razorbeck said...

okay I change my vote

annonymous what an ass you are!!!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I think you're better off without Aunt Flo. But I guess that's just a guess.

Burfica said...

hahahhaaha I just blame it on all the stupid ass, piss me off men!!! That's enough to make any woman homicidal.

Olly said...

Yup, Razorbeck is right.

Although...sometimes cycles change in the summer and winter with the heat. Not to mention you've had some recent upheaval in your life with SCM coming (cumming?)home.

Personally, I'd be at the pharmacy buying up a bunch of tests just to clear my mind...