Thursday, July 17, 2008

Toilet Seats, Electicity and Stupid Employees.




The CEO of my company came in earlier today with an elongated toilet seat in hand. Now personally I would think any conversation would begin with the explanation of a grown man carting around the hat of a porcelain pony. But alas he simply inquired what time the board meeting was going to take place that afternoon.


"4pm and nice bracelet"


"Oh yeah, I was going up to reception to find out why this thing was on my desk."


My horror was abated when he explained it was new and clean when it was placed on the center of his desk.


Turns out maintenance ordered rest room parts and my brilliant receptionist decided that the CEOs office was the perfect place to put the new hiney platform.


In the immortal words of Forest Gump, that's all I have to say about that.

I am usually the last person to leave my office each night. I enjoy the peace and quiet of the place without hormonal women bitching about everything from torn pantyhose to who is fucking whose boyfriend and why. As I walked around turning up the AC and flicking off the lights, an annoying thing happened. One of the lights would not go out. I flicked the switch, a flicker and right back on.

Hmmmm.

Fortunately, this particular light is controlled by two switches, one on either wall. So I calmly crossed the room and flicked the other one. Same thing.

Double hummm.

Somewhere in my dysfunctional upbringing I must have heard horror stories about electricity and fires because things like this scare the shit out of me.

I refused to leave the light on and needed to figure out how to turn the circuit breaker off until the electrician could be called the next day. The next problem is how to know which breaker controls the light since the breaker box is on the other end of the floor and I won't be able to see if I start flicking breakers which lights go out. Yeah know, because what would the builders actually label the fucking things. That would make far too much sense.

I catch one of the employees in the parking lot, drag them back in to watch, call their cell and start flicking.....finally, the light goes out.

I call the electrician, leave a message and head home.

This morning I came in and the lights are on. Since I left a note not to turn on the lights and that the electrician had been called, I assumed he showed up.

I would be wrong.

I was informed that it was only the circuit breaker and a very industrious employee figured this out and switched it back on.

Sigh.

I was dreading the family reunion taking place next week in Tennessee that I will be attending but right now if it is a choice of these numnutz or the numnutz that are of my blood, I'll choose family any old day.

See you all July 28th. Keep a light burning but only if it won't cause a fire.

12 comments:

The Doggy Did It said...

Wow, a circuit breaker huh? You don't say. Brilliant.

Olly said...

A family reunion? Don't forget to renew that valium prescription!

Jay said...

You know I've seen a number of cheesy horror and sci-fi movies where things like that light not going out ALWAYS end badly. Glad you survived. ;-)

Have fun at the family reunion.

TLP said...

Have fun. I'll leave the light on for you.

Burfica said...

I think you need to stock up on prozac. hahahaha

Maybe you should walk into the reunion with the tidy bowl bracelet. hehehehe

Pumpkin said...

Hey there.

I just wanted to tell you that the comment you left on my blog about not getting my tubes tied because I didn't know what would happen in the future?

Well, you were right hunny.....I found out today that I'm pregnant....and you now what....I couldn't be happier.

Guess I just wanted to let you know, and say thankyou for your honesty lass....it's kinda why I Love LOVE LOVE your blog!
xxxxx

Pumpkin said...

ps...you're also the first 'blogging' type person I've told, so ssshhhhh.
lolxxxxx

Christine said...

YAY! You ARE going to name the kid after me, right? Lucky you, Chris works for either sex. :-)

Pumpkin said...

Lol, actually I really like Chris and it works if it's a boy .....I'm already thinking Michaela if it's a girl....and I've just announced it on my blog...sheesh I'm getting brave.
xxxx

Boo said...

Is you or isn't you gonna calve??


See? I can be a redneck too! ;-)

Libby said...

oh, christine...i hope you are/are not pregnant, whichever you decide works best for you!
how did you EVER keep a straight face when you were shown the toilet seat, and heard that it was on the CEO's desk...i would have just lost it, i don't care who it was!!

cybrpunk said...

The circuit breaker is classic. The toilet seat is just bizarre. If they were cheap, I'd say it would be fun to continue the trend/prank, hehe