Friday, May 30, 2008

To Lie or Not to Lie

I am preparing to take my annual summer cruise next week. A quickie to a couple of islands in the Bahamas and back with only my daughter and I.

I am looking forward to the peace and quiet of reading and sunning while I shove the brat into whatever bullshit activities they have to keep her out of my hair.

Bless them.

While packing I stumbled across a book I was given as a gift. It is called "A Mother's Life" and I thought I would plan to finally complete it while on vacation.

So I flipped through it expecting basic shit like how happy were you when I was born and what was my first word.

The fucking thing want MY life story. I guess I should have paid better attention to the title of the thing, huh?

When was your first kiss?

I attacked a poor unsuspecting five year old in the cubbies in kindergarten. Come to think of it, the prick told on me.
What was your first job?

Selling joints for a dollar each in the cafeteria in Jr. High.

When did you and my father meet?

He was the best friend of the guy I really liked.

Describe your wedding day?

We did lines on the way to the reception where the family was taking bets on how long the marriage would last.

See, not something I particularly want to share with the little ones...even when I am dead.

On the other hand, maybe it will cause them to look back and say...gee, mom was one cool mutherfucker.

Naaaa, I think I will put this one in the regift section of the closet.
Off to check out your blogs. I hate not knowing what the kewl kids are up to.


Karen said...

Well, it is a cool concept. LOL. My parents met when my dad stole the color tv from my grandparents house and my mother begged her parents not to press charges on him because he was cute.

I think all families have those shady stories.

razorbeck said...

Gees except for an affair with a married woman my life has been pretty boring! A little shop lifting is about it. *Sigh* and I accuse other people of being vanilla

Burfica said...

hahahaha I have one of those books and I started being sappy and filling it out, and I got about 1/3 of the way into it, and never finished filling it out.

Jay said...

I say just go ahead and tell the truth. Maybe they'll use that information when they send in the "why my family should get a reality show" essay.

Norman said...

I like that you posted your pic on here.

I especially like that you trimmed SCM outta the pic.

(yes...I'm the die-hard groupie that remembers that pic...we all thought SCM bore a STRONG resemblance to Danny DeVito).


Norman! <--- totally jealous of Christine because she's cruising again

Olly said...

I guess I'd just make some sappy shit up. No need to write down stuff they could crucify you with later. Even my high school yearbooks are hidden from my kids. Too much party/drug/sex references with the autographs, lol!

Libby said...

christine, i know it's sappy sounding as hell, but, you know what? my mom left tiffany a book all about her life, & it was SO NEAT! everyone wanted to borrow it to read at the funeral! mom grew up on a farm...during the depression (born in 1922!) however, as for me...she's stuck with my blog!!

Christine said...

Danny Devito!! LOL Norman, you just cracked me up for a good ten minutes.


razorbeck said...

DAnny Devito!!!

Wheres ma smooch

Summer said...

I pictured you with long thick chestnut colored hair, with the same pretty face.

Enjoy your cruise!

Olly said...

A dollar each??? I sold them for $2 each. Sure beat the hell out of a "you want fries with that?" type of job, eh?

Christine said...

Olly must be younger than I. Buck was the going rate. You could only profit by making pin joint though...

(I think the statute of limitations are up so I can proudly admit my criminal activities).

Summer: My hair may be that this point, who the hell knows?