Excuse me while I climb back up on my soap box and scream at the top of my lungs.
People, carry some fucking cash!
Time and time again I get behind you fuckers that need to use the damn debit machine for a purchase of three ears of corn and a box of condoms.
Yeah, I wondered about that too.
However, today's numnutz won the prize for most annoying of the week.
Okay, before I get into the details, I will say I was a bit on the cranky side after I tried to start my car this morning and noticed I had left the lights on and the key in the ignition.
Yeah, stop the snickering, like you've never done it.
I woke up number one son and ordered him out to the garage to push the damn thing out and give it a jump. One of the few advantages of supporting the kid as he attends college.
Of course all this occurred while I flipped on the news, put my feet up and poured myself another cup of coffee. Why should we both get sweaty and dirty?
With his mission accomplished, I drove off whistling an off key version of "hi ho, hi ho" to try to ease my stress of being late and having too much caffeine pumping through my body.
Alas, I need to make a quick stop at the market to pick up a few munchies for a meeting I had scheduled this afternoon.
Hoping to dash in and out, I grabbed a couple of bags of chips, 2 bottles of soda and headed for the register.
I scanned for an open lane and saw there was only one with a single gentleman on line to pay for one lowly bottle of water.
SCORE. I'd be on my way in less than five minutes.
Or so I thought.
When asked for his $1.06, Rockefeller proceeded to fumble in his back pocket for his wallet.
You know, because how would he know to have his wallet out and ready?
Fully expecting to see a couple of bucks handed to the cashier or the slightly more annoying scavenger hunt for six cents, what the customer actually did was extract a Visa card.
For one dollar and six cent.
As if that wasn't annoying enough, the card was declined.
"Let me try to use my PIN" he offered as if being helpful.
"Wait, I think that was the wrong number, let me try again."
At this point, to keep my head from exploding resulting in a huge cleanup on isle four, I offered to pay for his water.
"That is very nice of you but I really need to find out what is going on with my card."
I looked around saying a silent prayer that another register had since opened up but alas, my choices consisted of waiting or leaving the unhealthy yet savory snacks behind.
The aging cashier, no doubt accustomed to this bullshit, called for the manager who attempted to re process the transaction again to no avail. He then advised this dude, you may notice that he had lost gentleman status in my mind, he needed to contact his financial institution to remedy the situation and in the meantime did he have the cash to pay?
In complete unison, the cashier and Loser McBrokeass looked at me.
"I'll be happy to help you out", I said with a forced smile and handed her two singles.
Listen, I happen to think using a debit or credit card to pay for groceries is a wonderful convenience. The fact that you often can get cash back for no extra charge is just as lovely. However, if something is under two dollars and you have to pull out plastic, I really feel you should work on the planning ahead thing.
Later on in the morning, I shared this experience with a friend who defended jerko and said she also very rarely carries cash and sees nothing unreasonable about using a card for a dollar purchase.
She has now been demoted to acquaintance status. I can not be friends with someone like that.
The next thing she'll tell me is that she is also one of those that hold up the line writing a check and I simply had enough disillusionment for one day.