Thursday, May 22, 2008

Money, So They Say, Is The Root of All Evil Today.

Excuse me while I climb back up on my soap box and scream at the top of my lungs.

People, carry some fucking cash!

Time and time again I get behind you fuckers that need to use the damn debit machine for a purchase of three ears of corn and a box of condoms.

Yeah, I wondered about that too.

However, today's numnutz won the prize for most annoying of the week.

Okay, before I get into the details, I will say I was a bit on the cranky side after I tried to start my car this morning and noticed I had left the lights on and the key in the ignition.

Yeah, stop the snickering, like you've never done it.
I woke up number one son and ordered him out to the garage to push the damn thing out and give it a jump. One of the few advantages of supporting the kid as he attends college.

Of course all this occurred while I flipped on the news, put my feet up and poured myself another cup of coffee. Why should we both get sweaty and dirty?

With his mission accomplished, I drove off whistling an off key version of "hi ho, hi ho" to try to ease my stress of being late and having too much caffeine pumping through my body.

Alas, I need to make a quick stop at the market to pick up a few munchies for a meeting I had scheduled this afternoon.

Hoping to dash in and out, I grabbed a couple of bags of chips, 2 bottles of soda and headed for the register.

I scanned for an open lane and saw there was only one with a single gentleman on line to pay for one lowly bottle of water.

SCORE. I'd be on my way in less than five minutes.

Or so I thought.

When asked for his $1.06, Rockefeller proceeded to fumble in his back pocket for his wallet.

You know, because how would he know to have his wallet out and ready?

Fully expecting to see a couple of bucks handed to the cashier or the slightly more annoying scavenger hunt for six cents, what the customer actually did was extract a Visa card.
For one dollar and six cent.

As if that wasn't annoying enough, the card was declined.

"Let me try to use my PIN" he offered as if being helpful.


"Wait, I think that was the wrong number, let me try again."
At this point, to keep my head from exploding resulting in a huge cleanup on isle four, I offered to pay for his water.

"That is very nice of you but I really need to find out what is going on with my card."

I looked around saying a silent prayer that another register had since opened up but alas, my choices consisted of waiting or leaving the unhealthy yet savory snacks behind.

The aging cashier, no doubt accustomed to this bullshit, called for the manager who attempted to re process the transaction again to no avail. He then advised this dude, you may notice that he had lost gentleman status in my mind, he needed to contact his financial institution to remedy the situation and in the meantime did he have the cash to pay?

In complete unison, the cashier and Loser McBrokeass looked at me.

"I'll be happy to help you out", I said with a forced smile and handed her two singles.

Listen, I happen to think using a debit or credit card to pay for groceries is a wonderful convenience. The fact that you often can get cash back for no extra charge is just as lovely. However, if something is under two dollars and you have to pull out plastic, I really feel you should work on the planning ahead thing.

Later on in the morning, I shared this experience with a friend who defended jerko and said she also very rarely carries cash and sees nothing unreasonable about using a card for a dollar purchase.

She has now been demoted to acquaintance status. I can not be friends with someone like that.

The next thing she'll tell me is that she is also one of those that hold up the line writing a check and I simply had enough disillusionment for one day.


The Doggy Did It said...

Oh I will totally pop a cap in your ass if I see you writing a know your damn checking account has a debit card available to you.

I have on many occasions used my debit card for small purchases, but that is because I NEVER go to the bank. So I only have cash when someone leaves it for me on my nightstand.

Jay said...

I try to keep some cash on hand for small purchases, but I admit that I have used my debit card to buy a snickers bar and a pepsi before. ;-)

Karen said...

I never have cash on hand. But I my debit always works. It was nice of you to pay.

coffeypot said...

I LOVE my debit card. It's the greatest invention since scratch-n-sniff porn. But I would - and have to others - told him he was being very rude and inconsiderate and to take his bottle of water and get the fuck out of line until he could call his bank. Fucker!

Special K said...

Checks are so yesterday. Check 21 makes them useless to use in stores anyway, they hand it right back to you, might as well have a debit.
I try to never use mine for piddly amounts but it is completely free and there have been times I needed a coke etc.. and used it but I was in and out, no hassles, I promise. Still love me, 'kay?

Colin Brooks said...

I am one of the people who will use their card to pay for everything these days but I would never pay for something under £10 with it (I think that's the equivalent of $20).

Before, I used to hate using my card but I found it's easier to keep track of how much I spend and now I use it for everything over £10 pounds. I still carry cash in case a store has a problem with my card but I hate carrying all the coins so I keep emptying my wallet every so often from all the copper coins keeping only the silver ones which has led to my having 4 "piggy banks" filled with copper coins that I don't know what to do with. But that's a whole different story.

razorbeck said...

Oh my god I thought I was the biggest loser to comment on your blog but gees your comments are full of people who make my brain hurt. I hate to stand behind you stupid fucks while you use a card to buy a bottle of coke, it makes my head hurt. Carry some cash it wont kill you honest it wont, infact it wont even hurt a little bit. you people remind me of my employees that drive 30 miles to work in a snow storm with 57 cents in their pocket.

I am sorry for insulting your commenters Chris but some one has to clue these time wasters in

I seldom have less than $100 bucks cash on me

Christine said...

Well, Razor, I don't usually have THAT much on me but I always have a little cash kept in a safe at home.

Let me tell you all a little story. The day after Hurricane Charley everything around central florida was down. Including credit card machines. The only way you could get gas or make a purchase was with CASH. Fortunately for just about everyone, they got the card machines up and running fairly quickly but what if they didn't? I have often kidded my mother who at least has TWO DOLLARS to her name but seldom more, that she is going to be screwed if a disaster strikes and her cards aren't wortth the plastic they are engraved on. She laughs and say she'll just turn to me. That's fine but you all need to find your own way...I am not that rich.

Burfica said...

I usually carry a bit of cash, but one day I went in and got some stuff for about a buck and opened my wallet to find out that the husband had ransacked it for his soda and snack money at work, and I had 7 cents left, so yeah I wrote out a check for it. *hangs head in shame*

Alekx said...

Since most cashiers can't even count change anymore. I've stood in line while a cashier counted out 76 cents change to me. Took 5 minutes for her to figure it out. yah I'll use my card but I always have it out, and ready to go before my items are rung up. In and out.
If you can't use it quick don't use it at all or go to the old foggies line. :-)

Eunice said...

I carry cash more than I used to, but still prefer to use the plastic when I can, just because the cash-back bonus pays a better rate of return than my so-called savings account.