It is almost 10:30 am and I have not had my morning cigarette or my caffeine fix. I certainly wouldn't want to work for me today.
As many of you know, I run an office with 25-30 employees. It is run by the tier method of management.
In layman terms that means I appoint others to listen to the bullshit so I don't have to. They appoint their peons and so on and so on until the lowly file clerk has ten supervisors driving her crazy asking what the fuck is taking so long with their damn paperwork?!
I simply can't listen to petty bullshit problems. It isn't in me to pretend to give a shit that Mary left early or Susy snapped at Lucy. Those supervisors out there that have the ability to nod and smile through that nonsense have my utmost respect. It simply isn't my style to give a shit.
That being said, a former employee of mine just stopped by for a visit. Well, she actually came by for advice as she has recently been promoted to the head honcho role in her company.
Her question was a simple one..
How do I make my staff afraid of me like your staff is afraid of you so I don't have to bother with the bullshit gossip they bring to me everyday and page me for each night?
I really couldn't help her. See the problem is she actually cared if she was liked. She befriended these people. She asked about their family and pets like she actually gave a shit. In other words, the precedent had already been set and she is fucked unless she wants to fire them all and start over.
Do I like that my employees are afraid of me?
Number one, I only have to deal with things of a professional nature and only after someone tossed a coin in order to decide who has to approach the bitch with the problem.
Number two, I get to walk around like Queen shit while everyone pretends to be working so diligently and sneak up on them when they aren't. Not that I care but I get amused by their oh fuck, the boss just saw me playing solitaire on line face.
When a new employee starts, I always offer the welcome wagon speech about being approachable and talking to me if you have any problems.
I figure someone will get the word to them that seeing Chris is really not a very good idea if you are going to complain about a fellow employee.
I run a successful business with terrific people that I reward generously for doing their job and doing it well. People love working here. So much that the average employee has been with the 12 year old company over six years.
Maybe people would rather work for someone who is their friend and listens to their every complaint from PMS to work place affairs. However, it is rare that those companies succeed. There has to be someone that they all can collectively gossip and bitch about.
I am more than happy to fulfill that role as long as I get my ass kissed in the process.
Excuse me while I buzz the file clerk to find out why I still don't have a fucking cup of coffee sitting in front of me???