Aahhh Chhooo.

I am sick.

Unfortunately, I am not high fever, lay in bed and don’t care if the world goes to shit around you sick. No, I am not lucky like that. I am just sick enough that I feel like shit but must function in daily life. Although I am fixing life’s ass by coughing and sneezing all over the fucker.

So there.

They say a cold is three days coming and three days going. According to that formula, I should have been on the road to recovering just about……….wait for it…….

NOW.

Those theys are fucking liars.

I am not better than I was yesterday, as a matter of fact, I am not better than I was ten fucking minutes ago. I am miserable and whiny and I want my Mommy.

I would call her except she would come over, feel my head, pronounce I have no fever, roll her eyes and go home to call everyone and tell them how she had to spend the night taking care of her eldest…who, as it happens, is such a wimp.

So there will be no calling of the matriarch tonight.

Good thing too because my daughter has been on the phone with her friends for hours. She’s nine. What the fuck do they have to talk about for hours? Old times?

Whatever, at least she is out of my fucking hair so I can wallow in self pity to my dogs who have not left my side all day. Although that could be because I haven’t had the strength or motivation to feed them but I prefer to think of it as loyalty at its most pure and simple.

Maybe I do have that fever.

Isn't it amazing how much snot can actually come out of a person’s nose? Where does this goo come from exactly? A must have snot rags totally one or two gallons of the junk with no end in site. What? Too much information. Hey, I didn't invite you here, you came all on your own.

Mother did just call to pronounce that “Summer colds are the WORST! You will probably be sick for weeks.”

Thanks, Ma. Love you too.