Monday, February 15, 2010


I admire the folks that can update their blog each day.  I am not nearly that creative or interesting. 

And I am sure you kids don't want to read an entry like this:

Woke up, pooped, ate Cherios that aren't my favs but that were on sale buy one get one free at Publix, had to poop again (the fiber I think) took a shower, applied makeup, dried hair and proceeded to work.  Gave the asshole that was doing 50 in the fast lane the finger as I roared around his piece of shit hybrid and made it to work late as usual anyway.

Got my coffee, listened to three people tell me about their weekends and how incredible their kids are, tuned them out while playing the Rocky theme song in my head, did a little work, ate an apple, felt a little gassy (more fiber) and went to a meeting.  Tuned THAT out, (Go Rockeeeey), and came back to my office.  Did a little more work, checked Failblog and Failbooking and my Face Book Mafia Wars game until it was time for lunch.  Opened two packages of instant oatmeal, added the water and put it in the microwave for three minutes. Walked away, came back to oatmeal paste.  Chastised myself for not remembering it is supposed to be TWO minutes.  Added water to make it watery paste, said fuck it and ate it anyway.  Felt like I had to poop again. (Read the Oatmeal box. Oatmeal has fiber G-d Damn It!)

Mediated a dispute between two employees also known as prevented a freakin' cat fight, told them to close the door on their way out and read some email.  Spam, spam, porn, porn, make your dick bigger, make your dick wider, spam, spam, important message, last chance, huge savings, spam, porn, spam, make your dick AND tongue longer (that one I read).

Downloaded an new audiobook from Audible called Helping Others Be Efficient Like You and did this blog entry.

Who the hell wants to read THAT shit?

13 comments:

janeywan said...

Lol, your posts always make me smile.
Why is that?

The Dish said...

I enjoy talking about taking a shit!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Hey, everyone poops! :-)

Anonymous said...

*raises hand*

does that make me lame? I don't own an iPhone either.

jw

Coffeypot said...

Who wants to read that stuff? Me!

Oh, and the porn about making the dick and tongue longer...send me the info. I have a friend who is curious. Honest!

Jay said...

If you were on Twitter, you could just post those things in real time for everyone. ;-)

GiGi said...

Awesome. Thanks for sharing. I cannot blog every day either.....I am lucky if I get to check my email every day. Although, Facebook has become quite the addiction...

Jon said...

Seems like you are definitely going places - your blog is a great read - and yes I hate mondays too!

Becky..AMHW said...

Make a little room in your day for a showtune. Oklahoma ain't wrong.

Four Dinners said...

I have a friend who is known as 'Two Dumps'.

I will introduce you if you like...;-)

It's a long story. Actually I may post it - and it will be your fault!

vinomom said...

That's why I don't post every day too. But after reading your post and seeing how entertaining it was that may be all I write about from now on.

Howard said...

Oatmeal, ftw!

Meg said...

I think I've found a new favorite blog!