Why aren't I on a cruise ship in the Gulf of Mexico with a rum drink in one hand and a slot machine arm in the other?

Oh, yeah, because life sucks and then you die a slow and painful death alone.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

This year I had planned to blow off hanging with my crazy extended family on Thanksgiving and go on a cruise.  Obviously from my whining, that did not happen.  Due to some medical problems and insurance copays higher than Keith Richards on tour, I am broke, busted and  tapped out.  The only boat that I can afford is a plastic bath toy piece of shit from Wally World.

Even that I would need to put on lay-a-way.

However, shit happens and since I bailed on Thanksgiving in advance, I assumed my family would have made other plans.

And they did.

Kind of.

My sister, her partner and their daughter went to Georgia to visit friends.

My brother decided to host Thanksgiving for his family and my parents at his house.

My son was going to Fort Lauderdale for a friend's engagement party on Friday so he decided to make a long weekend of it.

So I opted to not go to my brother's house but just have a quiet Thanksgiving with just my daughter and I.  Maybe go out to eat or simply cook a small bird to have leftovers.

Easy peasy.

Except not.

When my mother found out I wasn't going away, she decided that she didn't really want to go ALL THE WAY (30 minutes) to my brothers house since my father was going to have to work, so I said I would make a small bird and my daughter and I would bring dinner to her house.

Monday, my son decided that he didn't really have enough money for the extra days in a hotel so he would be joining us.

No problem, my little sad turkey breast wasn't going to be enough now so I went out and bought a ten pound turkey.

On Tuesday, a friend of mine that is battling breast cancer, said she really did not feel up to cooking so of course I invited her. I then switched the location to my house.

Tuesday night she told me that her son is going to be in town, would it be okay if she brought him.  Fine I said mentally trying to determine if I needed a bigger turkey.

Today she called and said that her nephew and his wife showed up as a surprise from out of town and would I mind.....

Yup...bigger turkey.

Last but not least, my mother just called and informed me that my father has the afternoon off so he will be joining us for dinner.

I am hosting a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow for nine people.

I am waiting for a phone call from my son saying he is bringing a date. 

Whatever you do, I hope it is fun, happy and joyous.

But if it involves a cruise ship, I don't want to hear about it.