Friday, April 25, 2008






It occurred to me recently that my favorite part of the day is climbing into bed at the end of it. Now seeing that I do that pretty much alone...it makes for a very sad existence.
So last night, I decided that I am going to make my favorite part of the day waking up. Just to shake things up a bit.

It went great too! Well, until I threw that fucking annoying clock radio out the window. I think I also ruined a squirrels morning as well. I don't' think he was expecting a small appliance coming at him at 40mph while he was innocently collecting acorns or whatever the fuck those rats with tails do with their day.

So as I opened the window to apologize and asked him what his favorite part of the day was?

He replied that any part of the day when some fucking arrogant human isn't throwing shit at him makes for a pleasant day.
That's what I get for asking a rodent a serious question.

So I beaned the little shit with the book on my nightstand "Controlling Your Temper in Ten Easy Steps" and quickly closed the window.


I don't need some pissed off squirrel and his little beady eyed posse coming in and messing up my shit in retaliation.

So there I was...up and cranky. Not that such a situation was new to me in the morning, only it did spoil my plan and it really was the only one I had made for the day.

Well, besides go to work and take care of my kids and shit.

I made my coffee and noticed that on my little note pad of things to do I had written make morning the best part of the day.

And I couldn't cross it off with the little sharpened pencil I keep on the string next to the list for that very purpose.

It was all that fucking squirrels fault.

I think I will set some traps and try again tomorrow.
Now I have two things on my list.

Like I need this kind of pressure?




12 comments:

Burfica said...

I hate mornings too, but on the other hand I sorta like squirrels lol

Terry said...

Are you really single??
You have such a great way of expressing yourself .. I am in awe.
And do yuo like English blokes??
Not that I'm suggesting....

Christine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christine said...

Well Terry, I am ugly, cranky and rumor has it I snore. This may or many not contribute to the single thing. I prefer to think it is because men are too picky and expect every woman to have a full set of teeth.

HOWEVER, if you know a nice English guy who wants to spring for a plane ticket to show me the sights of your lovely country, I could possibly be persuaded.

Btw..I had to delete the previous entry because apparently I also am spelling challenged.

The Doggy Did It said...

God damn squirrels are always fucking it up for everyone!

razorbeck said...

lol Chris you go easy on Terry, you would hate to spoil english - american relations over a date lol

coffeypot said...

OMG! You swallow AND you have missing teeth. I AM IN LOVE! And I could make you look forward to mornings, too. I would start by laying a $20 bill on your pillow.

Eunice said...

Mornings suck ass. I would just go back to enjoying bedtime. The best part about sleeping alone is that there isn't anyone stealing your covers.

Jay said...

I decided I wanted to be a morning person once. It didn't work out so well. Turns out these things are just natural and can't be forced. Weird.

I was a little concerned that I wouldn't be accepted here because of the name of this blog since I do watch AI. But, then I saw the cuss-o-meter in the sidebar and decided it would be OK. ;-)

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Boy howdy, you live a tough life. (I hear squirrels like peanut butter.)

Special K said...

I hate squirrels. Damn tree rats.

Matt-Man said...

I am so glad to find somebody who shares my loathing of squirrels. Cheers!!