Saturday, April 5, 2008




If there is only one truth that you need to know about me, it is when I say I am not going to do something for a while, you'll be sure I'll be doing it in............less than a while.

Like the next fucking day.

Sure I am still going away and sure, I should be shopping for big bulky sweaters that make my hips looks smaller and international power adapters...

But I got some shit to say Gd Damn It!

Some crazy ass employee applicant called me.........

Racist.

She was so angry and so adamant that when I looked in the mirror next I was expecting to see I wore a white hood and burning crosses on my neighbor's lawns were my plans for the evening.

Apparently, because I wasn't giving her the job she wanted, my company practiced discrimination against minorities.

You know, it couldn't be that I didn't want her because she was annoying and bat shit insane?

Naaaa. It was the color of her skin that was the problem.

Now I have actually heard these things go on. I chuckled at the obviously embellished stories fully aware that the phenomenon was rare.

Except........

Gah...there was some crazy fucking bitch accusing ME of having prejudices.

This particular accusation shook me up so much I had to take stock of my company.

After I had Nutzo McNumnutz escorted out, I got out my pencil and paper and started drawing little stick number and crossing foursies to make the fivsies.

Because I had to make sure my results were official, you understand.

Presently my staff consists of...

11 White people. yes, I suck...and depending how much I like you, I may even swallow (since coffey inquired.)

7 Black people. (I can't do a break down because I am clueless as to some of their ethnic backgrounds)

4 Hispanics

1 Asian

1 Senior Citizen.

So while I glanced at the results of my modern and advanced study, I noticed that I hire more minorities than non minorities. Not that I do that on purpose either. It just so happens in the land of redneck and high school drop out rates of over 50%, I hired the people most qualified to make me look good.

Fuck you bitch. Go work somewhere that hires the bat shit insane. That minority is one that is well represented after all.

20 comments:

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Hmmmmm. Only ONE Senior Citizan out of 24 people...! Well, I guess I can see where your true ptejudices are....LOL!

Seriously, our country does seem to be a culture that throws away Senior Citizens unless you are a Senator...If you are in the Senete you can keep getting elected till you drop dead! Strom Thurmond anyone? What was he in his 90's???
But, here in Hollywood? Well, the Ageism Factor is horrendous. A Writer here is often considered over-the-hill when they are 40!

Mary said...

Some people just can't take the responsibility for not getting the job and have to blame it on someone. I think the response to not getting the job probably says a lot about why she doesn't have one yet.

Christine said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Freak Magnet said...

I am SO tired of that card being played. I can't express how much in just a few sentences, so we'll just leave it at 'fuck off'.

coffeypot said...

I can't say that I am bigoted and racist because I HATE EVERYBODY.

coffeypot said...

Except those who swallow!

Terry said...

Excellent post.
I love you! no, seriously I do.
I love anyone who cuts through the political correctness shit that we have to endure in this world.
I will be back to read more of your shit. (shit is good!)
Great post!!

about jenji said...

Yes, you should have just calmly said,

"Oh, no no...please don't get the wrong idea, I'm so very sorry that you feel that way. In fact, you should know that it's not that I don't do black, it's that I don't do crazy. Carry on and good luck with that, Crazy."

nice.
jenji

Special K said...

The crazy are not a minority anymore unfortunately.

Jillian said...

*puts her race card away*

Damn... someone beat me to it...

Burfica said...

maybe she meant you were racist cuz you don't hire the "stupid"

I wish stupid was against the law, I really do. hehehehe

There would be more poeple locked up then free then. hahahahaha

Olly said...

How come if you are middle class and white you are immediately a racist? I'm a little sick of it.

TLP said...

Ageist! You rotten ageist!

BTW, where's my damn cheese? Huh? Gave it to some YOUNG person I bet.

Libby said...

you know, i have a trump card for the race card...the crippled card!! lol!!

Christine said...

hmmmm...yup, the crips are sadly under represented. I remember when i was building our office the plans had to be handicap accessable. we fucked up the sink and it was too high. i said why can't we just make a policy that if you're in a wheelchair you don't have to do kitchen duty! fucking inspector wasn't going for it. bastard.
Wait, one of my employees uses a walker due gto an old broken hip..does that count in teh crip column? I want to be PC afterall. I need to find me a pigmy and a one eye one arm flying purple people eater and ill be all set. please fax resumes to 1800racistpig.

and switzerland is raining cold and expensive but they make up for it by putting chocolate on toast for breakfast.

Special K said...

I miss you.

Norman said...

and of those 11 white people....how many are women? Because women have minority considerations as well!!

Norman <---- has taken several college courses in racial & ethnic diversity in pursuit of her justice administration degree...

coffeypot said...

Actually, a white male is a minority in the office these days. And is that 'flying purple people eater' something that is purple and flies and eats people or is a something that flies and eats purple people? It's an old question from back in the 60's and has never been answered. And as a minority, I demand to know.

Babzy said...

Hi Christine. Just checking in and had such a good laugh over your post and the resulting comments.

Sounds to me like the applicant is challenged with her own genetical discrimination against melanin-impoverished authority figures. With that attitude she will most likely remain involuntarily leisured.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.