I have made plans to take my bratty kid to Washington DC for spring break this year.
I want her to get used to doing educational things during vacations so she isn’t tempted to go to Daytona Beach and appear on Girls Gone Wild videos when she grows boobs. (Or begins dating them.)
I figured we can go to Washington and see the Liberty Bell, the Statue of Liberty and the Old North Church……
Yeah, whatever. You never know, they could be on tour.
I thought it would be neat to arrange a play date with Sasha and Milia but apparently they are all booked up spreading their father’s message of peace and fairness in the world. Oh, and playing with their new easy bake oven.
Apparently in order to even see inside the White House you need to have a group of ten to be considered. To make it even more difficult, it isn’t like I can pick up some homeless people on the National Mall at the last minute. They actually want to know the group and the names of the visitors. Those uptight bastards won’t even accept names like Bertha the Bag Lady and Willy the Wino. And I thought this was a free country. HA!
So I am writing my girl Michelle and asking her to sneak us in. After all I did donate $12.62 to her husband’s campaign. I figure she owes me.
If that doesn’t work out I am guessing we can do all the other boring shit like seeing the monuments, enjoy the architecture of the city and visit the Smithsonian. Yawn.