Thursday, February 19, 2009




I have made plans to take my bratty kid to Washington DC for spring break this year.

I want her to get used to doing educational things during vacations so she isn’t tempted to go to Daytona Beach and appear on Girls Gone Wild videos when she grows boobs. (Or begins dating them.)

I figured we can go to Washington and see the Liberty Bell, the Statue of Liberty and the Old North Church……

Yeah, whatever. You never know, they could be on tour.

I thought it would be neat to arrange a play date with Sasha and Milia but apparently they are all booked up spreading their father’s message of peace and fairness in the world. Oh, and playing with their new easy bake oven.

Apparently in order to even see inside the White House you need to have a group of ten to be considered. To make it even more difficult, it isn’t like I can pick up some homeless people on the National Mall at the last minute. They actually want to know the group and the names of the visitors. Those uptight bastards won’t even accept names like Bertha the Bag Lady and Willy the Wino. And I thought this was a free country. HA!

So I am writing my girl Michelle and asking her to sneak us in. After all I did donate $12.62 to her husband’s campaign. I figure she owes me.

If that doesn’t work out I am guessing we can do all the other boring shit like seeing the monuments, enjoy the architecture of the city and visit the Smithsonian. Yawn.

I wonder if they have a Chuck E Cheese?

9 comments:

Burfica said...

hahahaha good luck, that is probably one of the last places on my list I ever want to visit. lmao

Anonymous said...

tell the brat you are taking her to the national mall and then tell her theres no shopping

Sean the Obtuse Canadian

coffeypot said...

Around 1972 or 73 the first wife, Marni and I went to D.C. We went to see the White House. As luck would have it, a cab was leaving in front of the East Wing of the WH (sorry, not Waffle House this time) and we got to park there. We walked up a circular driveway and got in line to tour the place. There was a secret service agent standing at the door but that was all. Afterward we walked back to the car and drove off to our next attraction. I don’t believe it’s like that now. I mean you can’t carry guns or knives or box cutters in the WH at all. But I recommend you take her. Just plan ahead because there is a whole lot of stuff to do in such a short time. Have fun!

Jay said...

I've only been to D.C. once and that was in 1986. The rules for getting into a White House tour were about the same then. We didn't get to do one.

I do recommend a bus tour of the city though just to see the sights. Especially at night with all the monuments all lit up. It's beautiful.

m.j. said...

I think that would be a great trip, I have been wanting to check out D.C. myself. I hear there is a lot of good site seeing. I would love to go to the National Museum of American History. Have fun!

Special K said...

I am with Burfica, to me it just seems SO boring and it isn't as if these aren't places you don't see everyday on tv. (BORING!) I totally see it as good punishment for a child though. Totally.
Now if you would like to make it fun, go get plastered and then try to call Michelle. That ought to make for an interesting post!

Libby said...

oh, christine, i sense some of the best posts you've ever had out of this 'adventure'! and, you know what? maybe you could "kick it up a notch" and find some couples to marry??

Olly said...

Hahahaha! I like Special K's suggestion.

I haven't been to many places in the US, but I'd love to see the Smithsonian!

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