Wednesday, January 21, 2009

"Mom. Why isn't the remote working?"

I know when I start pulling all the batteries out of the electronics in the house to power my vibrator, it is time for Christine to get laid.

Unfortunately, I am not currently fond of anyone enough to play hide the salami.

This morning in an attempt to keep my mind off of this dry spell, I decided to focus on the news.

After I sort through the thousand and one articles about the Inauguration, I click on world news.

Shit! Even Jungle Jane is getting laid and yet, here I am with my best friend the rabbit and the men of my fantasy that are even starting to getting tired of me.

I may have to rent a power washer to use on SCM. Desperate times call for desperate measures.


The Girl You Don't Bring Home to Momma said...

OMG !!! Your a trip. Your need a plug in - "f" the batteries.

Christine said...

I'm too concerned I might electrocute myself being attached to a power source. But what a way to go!

Olly said...

Hmmm....Buy a big box of batteries at Costco, or power wash SCM. It's these tough life choices that make us who we are. LOL!!!!!!!!!

coffeypot said...

How about a jack-hammer? Just make sure you use a condom so the rubber will keep you from being shocked.

Special K said...

My my that is desperate! I still say go for the rabbit. At least you know where he's been.

Lindi said...

two words:
Rechargeable batteries!!!
Go green my friend, help save the planet.
SCM is already conserving water!

Christine said...

Lindi totally cracked me up. Yeah, that is a unique way to think about SCM! He is being unselfish.

Karen said...

Do you really have to be so fond on someone to scratch your itch? Go out, have a few cocktails and I bet you will find a willing penis.

Oh, sorry, does that advice make a whore?