Thursday, February 28, 2008


While I am big on buying tons of cloths I don't need, I am not big on returning said items when they are damaged, the wrong size or simply have trouble getting along with the other useless pieces hanging in my closet.
So when I put on a new pair of slacks I had recently purchased, I was annoyed to find the fucking thing had a broken zipper, I tossed it my should handle but probably never will pile.
Unfortunately, it occurred to me that I purchased a blouse I really liked to go with said slacks and this could end up a bad purchase times two. I rummaged through my wallet hoping that I did not go through it lately and throw out all the lose useless pieces of paper the clerks always hand me along with my new bag of happy.
SCORE! I found it between the unpaid parking ticket from December and a thrice folded fifty dollar bill.
Definitely some Karma working for me there.
I shoved the balled up slacks into a plastic grocery bag, threw in the receipt and tossed it carelessly in the back seat with full intention of going to the mall that very night for the exchange.
Three weeks later, the guy who detailed my car discovered it under the front seat.
I mentally calculated if I had passed the dreaded 30 day exchange window while reciting thirty days has September, April, June......and whatever. But I knew it wasn't January so I added that extra day and discovered I was just under the wire.
Since I do not normally return shit, I had no idea what the procedure was and grabbed the first clerk that happened by and asked.
"Any register," she snapped grudgingly.
Alrighty then. I went to the ladies department and, always the helpful little shopper, I found the slacks and headed to the counter for the exchange.
Which is when I heard the shouting.
To not offend your sensibilities, I will say that this angry young woman was dismayed to be informed that her credit card was lacking the financial flexibility to accommodate her lofty purchase plans for the day.
The poor clerk looked horrified as this woman spat out some obscenities that even I had not yet heard of. (But did make mental notes of them to pull out at the next available opportunity.)
The employee got on the phone and paged some number overhead that I assume translated into..
Crazy ass bitch register 2.
The manager on duty, a portly gentleman with thick glasses appeared almost instantaneously and asked what he could do to help.
"Nothing! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you...fuck you all!!" she spat and stormed off.
What. The. Fuck! One of those fuck yous were in my direction.
Now I know why I don't return shit. It is a jungle out there.

9 comments:

razorbeck said...

Never return anything

It shows a weakness of character that you bought something that needed returning in the first place!

Anonymous said...

TOO FREAKIN FUNNY!!...MAYBE THE SECURITY CAMERA GUYS WILL GRAB THAT TAPE FOR A NEW SHOW TITLED " HOW WAS YOU DAY".."snicker" f*$)@* EVERYONE CAUSE SHE MAXED OUT HER CARD...LOLOL...YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE A GOOD TIME IN FLORIDA

coffeypot said...

Why, if that bitch had yell fuck you to me, I would have stepped right up to her and said, "Okay, when and where?" I don't take things like that lightly.

Jim Latchford said...

Aha!! See Christine...you have encountered the same type of idiots that I talked about in my blog entry today, "Bit & Pieces Of Stupidity." It's not a jungle out there. It's a swamp!!

And Coffeypot, my dear friend, do you always respond to any comment with a veiled reference to your penis? Just wondering...

razorbeck said...

Jim I dont know if thats a fair comment to coffee because now you are mentioning his penis too.... oh wait now hes got me doing it! You are an evil evil man coffee

Libby said...

return everything....just make sure you havent cut the tags off...you know, stuff em inside the dress so they dont show when you wear it to the biggest party of the year the night before you return it...

Mike said...

I thought I was the only one that did this. I can't stand returning stuff. I have a closet full of clothes I bought and then decided I didn't like for one reason or another. Most of them still have the tag on them.

Burfica said...

to funny, I return even the smallest shit, Hey that's my dam money. lmao

coffeypot said...

Jim, fuck yes!