Saturday, February 23, 2008

Isn't Saturday Date Night?

So what the fuck am I doing sitting here drowning my sorrows in key lime pie and chocolate milk?

No matter how great this pie is or how sweet the milk tastes, it isn't nearly as satisfying as a good stiff......


I went to get the bottle of Grey Goose I tend to dip into when I get dumped but I notice there is very little left.

Already been a bad year and it is only February.
However, I am not ready to throw in the towel yet!

I read in the church bulletin last week that they have a singles meet up every Sunday evening at 7pm.

I would love to tell you kids that I actually attend Mass regularly which is where I picked up aforementioned bulletin but even I can't lie about things relating to church.

Not because I fear hell but I fear bad dreams about Sister Mary Margaret pulling my braids and pinching my arms.

Gosh, I hope that mean bitch is dead so she is no longer torturing children.

The priests diddled the boys and the nuns beat the shit out of the girls. Gotta love the Roman Catholic Church.

Anyway, my mother brings home the church literature hoping that something will sink in and make me once again see the light.

And last week it worked!

Single MEN? Single men all gathered in one place for the pickin'?
I am sooooo there!

Of course they probably believed in God and the Angels and Saints but I can fuck that God fearing, bible thumping shit right out of them in no time.

So, yes, that is where I will be tomorrow at 7pm.

I am certain I will have some good stories about the experience on Monday.


Libby said...

oh, shit, christine, i am SO looking forward to reading about this...hell, i hate to say it, my friend, but i almost hope you meet a bunch of assholes!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

If you happen to see a couple of guys holding hands, better not make a move on either kne of them. They might be carriers.

Burfica said...

hahahahah I love libby's comment. I'm with her. lol

coffeypot said...

You make me wish I was Catholic. I am a man, though. Does one out of two count? And I will be religious if that turns you on. I'll even say a prayer for you. Something like, "Praise the Lord and pass the pussy."