Wednesday, March 10, 2010

If today is the first day of the rest of my life, I think I am going to find myself a nice secluded cave in which I can curl up and die.


I would donate my body to science but the thought of all those pre med snots playing catch with my eyeballs and hide the organ with my liver freaks me out a bit. Okay, a lot.

As a peruse my calendar I see annoying court dates where I am acting as an "expert" witness. If you actually knew me, this would seem very funny to you.

The only thing I am expert on is which take out place has the best fried rice and what kind of shoes go with which bag.

Between the court appearances I have endless days of pointless meetings with vendors who want to sell me shit I can't afford, marketing firms that want me to pay them money I can't afford so I can "make more money" to afford to buy shit off the sales people and months on end of giving my dogs their heart worm medication. Can you see why the cave idea is so attractive?

Well, to be honest, I have one weekend trip planned next month. It is a jaunt to Manhattan to show a redneck friend the big city. That is going to generate a week worth of blogging material..maybe two if she wears her Confederacy flag sweatshirt.

Have a nice day kids.

16 comments:

Karen said...

You are coming to NY? Let's hope you get some nice Spring weather. NY is amazing in the Spring.

Coffeypot said...

God bless your friend for wearing the Stars and Bars in NY. Bless you too for being proud of her enough to show her off. NY is a cool place to visit.

Doc said...

Im headed to NY as well for a week next month.. We ought to hook up and I can show you the NOFO... LOL oh thats right you are already familiar with it. ;-)

The Dish said...

I feel your pain. Can we find a cave with a full bar? If so, count me in.

Libby said...

is she bringing you your own sweatshirt, so you can walk around and be twins??

Christine said...

Not gonna happen lib. I am going to be the one carrying the weapon needed to protect her from getting her assed kicked. :-)

Anonymous said...

Can I curl up in your cave and die with you ? Please ?

Anonymous said...

I want to see pictures of your friends wearing that shirt in NYC! LOL

Anonymous said...

I love The Dish's idea of a cave with a full bar. If you find it, I'm SO in.

Have a great time in Manhattan though! I've never been!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I'm in on the cave with a bar! Rocking!

DILLIGAF said...

My drips filled with vodka..;-)

Even drunk I have no idea what the plonker called Brett is waffling about...

Anonymous said...

Plonker??!! My new favorite word. :-)

Olly said...

Lol, Dinners!!!

The Absent Minded Housewife said...

That's funny...when I have friends come over we take them to see redneck things.

That includes the courtrooms...meh.

Jenn Doll said...

Maybe you can convince them to try that heart worm medication on their children.

I'm just sayin'.

Matty said...

An expert witness who packs heat? I wouldn't want to be the lawyer rattling your cage during a thorough cross examination.