Monday, March 29, 2010



Do you think wearing teeth whitening strips as I sit at my desk at work is inappropriate?

When the only time you can perform personal hygiene rituals are at the office, you know that you are far far too busy.  I actually snapped at the little Korean guy giving me a pedicure on Friday evening to “stop yammering on the phone and hurry the fuck up”.  Since I don’t speak a work of Korean I am sure he was telling his coworker that I must be under a lot of stress in a caring and sympathetic way.

Or maybe not…

 Does anyone know how to say nasty ass bitch in Korean?

 I am quite accustomed to it being crazy busy at work but now it is getting completely out of hand.  On top of all the things that are going on politically including the Senates inability to repeal the Medicare SGF before they all went to Daytona Beach to tan for spring break,  I also have issues with being without a personal assistant to abuse help me. 

 It shouldn’t be my job to locate a plumber to unclog a toilet.  I don’t even want to know about the toilet let alone have to give information of the particulars of said clog over the phone.

 Just….no…

 Of course with my last two personal assistant disasters and my lack of any qualified person currently on staff, I am hesitant to rush the process.  I want to find the right person who can take my shit, not piss me off, and still manage to use the brain God gave him/her without having to ask questions regarding every detail.  Don’t get me wrong, technically my last two assistants were really perfect. 

 If I could combine them. 

 Unfortunately, I don’t think they would be willing to undergo any kind of genetic splicing and cloning for 12 bucks an hour and a free cell phone.

 So now I will remove my white strip and get on with my day.  I need to file my nails at 1 so I’d better move it.  Have a happy week kids.

10 comments:

Vinomom said...

That part about the assistants made me think of Murphy Brown. Remember the ongoing gag of secretaries? How come they don't show Murphy on reruns anymore? Loved that show.

GiGi said...

Yeah, I have always wondered what is being said about me, the times I've had mani/pedi's done..!

Doc said...

LOL @ nasty ass bitch in Korean... HAHAHAA!

Jay said...

I would send you my resume for that job, but I probably wouldn't take your shit and I would definitely piss you off. LOL ;-)

Coffeypot said...

I went to my English - Korean translator but got the 'Unable to translate 'nasty ass bitch.' Guess the don' have them there.

But you can do all the personal hygiene stuff at your desk that you want too, but I suggest you rethink the douche thing.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Hope work calms down a bit soon!

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Jeff said...

Looking forward to your thoughts on Two Mile Highway.

Peace and LOVE the Cuss-O-Meter!

Libby said...

OMG, now i know for sure that i'm quite disturbed, because i thought exactly what CP said!

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