Okay, who the fuck took my youth when I wasn't looking? There must be someone to whom I can report this offense. And I intend to prosecute to the full extend of the law G-d Damn It!
It isn't that I feel I am looking particularly ragged lately. As a matter of fact, I have a new hair style that I like and I've lost weight thanks to Dr. Todd's dating regime which included rabbit food and intense exercise. (and he wonders why it didn't work out between us. BAHAHA)
It is the NUMBER that freaks me out. I won't write it here but take my word for it, it is well on its way to being an old bag number. It occurs to me that I am at the age my mother was when she became a grandmother. A GRANDMOTHER??? Kill me now. Even though I can not compete with those hot little numbers that hang out at the bars trolling for sugar daddies, I certainly am in no way ready to be any one's Nana. Fuck that.
I was bored recently and checked out my old high school graduating class on face book. I "friended" several to find out how they were doing. Let me tell you folks, these people that have been in my memory up until now as eighteen year old kids, aren't anymore. They look sooo OLD! I mean of course I am saying how MARVELOUS everyone looks but I am lying.
The scary part is they are saying the same thing to me.