Me perform the ceremony explained in the blog entry below. One less thing for me to worry about.....
Dearly belittled, we are gathered here to witness this last minute, half assed, doing it for the money event in the presence of God, family and those of us forced to be here against our will.
So getting on it with it…. do you (insert name here) take this man to be your awfully wedded husband, to use, abuse and berate at every possible opportunity (wait for response).
Now, do you (insert name here) take this woman to be your awfully wedded wife to use, ignore and live off of for as long as you both shall live. (wait for response).
Now repeat after me….. I (insert name here) will stand Bayou through backwoods Cajun gumbo parties and dysfunctional family gatherings until I can’t take it anymore and go out for milk one day and never return.
I think I'll give my overalls a good washin' and fabreeze my flip flops for the sacred occasion.