Friday, November 21, 2008

I know that this is going to come as a shocker to you kids, but it appears I am a bit on the high strung side.

Additionally, I may even have a tad more stress in my life than is good for me.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

It all started when SCM punched me in the face.

Well, that was the rumor reality he did no such thing. It seems when a person walks around with several blood vessels that have burst in said person's eye, people automatically assume domestic violence.

To make matters worse, since this had happened before, I was just steps away from a woman's shelter.

In reality, I had no idea why tiny little capillaries were exploding in my baby blues and since it wasn't painful, I did what I always do when something doesn't need to go on my list of crisis for the day. I ignored it.

I would have continued to ignore it if I hadn't started with a terrible headache that didn't go away for several days. I may have even ignored that if the headache didn't come with bed spins worse than when I was doing jello shots off of that hot male strippers thigh during my bachelorette party in 1985.

I probably would have even ignored that too if someone hadn't finally fessed up about the office suspicion that my eye was caused by an ass kicking.

After convincing people that I really was being truthful and if any beatings were to take place, I certainly wouldn't be on the receiving end, a coworker asked: "Are you sure you don't have high blood pressure?"

Naaa, I thought. Not only am I too young for that shit, there is no such family history of that particular ailment.

We have just about every other malady in our dried up and root rotted family tree but none of that.

Since I needed to stock up on pantyhose and strawberry flavored massage oil anyway, I decided to take advantage of that annoying pressure cuff at the drug store.

After squeezing my arm so fucking tight I thought my skin was going to burst open leaving all my muscles and tendons exposed, two numbers flashed on the screen. I compared the numbers to their little chart for reference.

According to the list, I was on head exploding countdown.

I shook my head thinking that can't be right and checked it again....


To get to the point, I saw a doctor who put me on some medication and told me to chill the fuck out if I don't want that little blood vessels to start bursting in my brain causing me to spend my life eating my meals through a straw and drooling all over myself.

And give up the cigarettes, Hagan Daz and recreational drugs.

OH fuck that....

I am working on figuring out how to eliminate the aggravation in my life.

Basically my new philosophy is that if you are the least bit annoying... fuck off.

Words to live by.


Slick said...

You had a bachelorette party in 1985?

Hell, I was just starting high school ;)

Uh oh...calm down, I was joking!

Dont be busting nothing on my watch, please...

Take care of yourself!

The Girl You Don't Bring Home to Momma said...

Giving up Smokes, Ice Cream and Recreation Drugs, sounds like the prescription for high blood pressure associated with undue stress. You keep having your fun, but keep an eye on your health. It's no fun drinking from straws and drooling all over yourself.

Olly said...

When I read that SCM punched you, I thought the rest of the blog was going to be about how long they figure his coma was going to last, hahaha...

Wow, glad you checked out the blood pressure in time. But no recreational drugs? Hmmm... Did you think to ask the Doc for some valium? Really, those doctors have some of the best recreational drugs, lol.

And? Blogging is a good stress reliever, too. So I expect to hear far more ranting and bitching here!

M Chickk said...

Welcome to the world of hypertension. Hopefully your medication will get you down to a safe level and then you can figure out how much you can cheat on the bad stuff. The really annoying part though is if your medication has a diuretic in it, you will always be in the bathroom. Just like when you were preggers. Fun times. Take care of yourself!

Christine said...

I am still in denial MC and thinking that this is a fluke and a few days off will make me as good as new.

The valum idea is certainly a good one Olly, I wish I had thought of asking...hmmmm.

Christine said...

Oh and Slick..I married at 12 the first time :-)

Anonymous said...


Thos of us that survive on a steady diet of stress know the key is letting it go and forgetting about it on the weekend, of course with scm there on the weekends you are just swapping stresses so find a place to let it go

Trust me I am a profesional stress addict, work will still be there Monday.

Venting is good but letting it all disapear is better

Tell the world to fuck off you are unavailable for comment till Monday


Special K said...

Damn woman you scared the shit outta me, I was quickly skimming down to see if you went to the doctor! High blood pressure is nothing to sneeze at but it can and will be controlled and you can keep your cigs and ice cream..don't know about SCM though, he might have to go.

Heh. J/K.



Alekx said...

The above commenter was right. You have to let stress go. You only get stressed if you choose to allow a situation to effect you in a negative way.
Look at my job. Daily stress. Citizens lives in my hands. Police officers lives in my hands. Firemen lives in my hands. Gotta let it go at the end of the day and remember you work so you can have a life. Not live to work.

Good luck with getting the BP under control

I'm a yes for the quit smoking by the way, not that my opinion matters but after watching my mom die of not being able to get any air, I'm yes for quitting

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I sent Obama an email to tell him he only has one thing left to do: Quit Smoking. Who knows? It's worth a shot!

Burfica said...

I've been on medication for my blood pressure for what?? 7 years now I guess.

They gave me a brand new medication at the time, and it's done wonders. No side effects what so ever, but nobody I know has even heard of it, they are on all this stuff that's been around forever and has side effects.

only side effect this one has is if you don't swallow it fast enough, it's very nasty tasting and gives you cotton mouth for an hour or two.

Jenny Fabulous said...

Cutting stress out is better than cutting out ice cream. I would have a hard time with cutting both! Take care of yourself and rememeber.... "Pills are good."


Christine said...

Thanks're all awesome. Had to go back to the doctor today when I almost passed out at work. BP was well over 200. They dont' know wtf is going on. Gave me tons of valium, some kind of miracle drug to take every four hours all weekend and directions to have the work go away. After five hours I am bored out of my mind.

Oh..and I missed the fucking wedding so now I have to count on the gossip of friends to see if the little slut embarrassed herself. I hope, I hope. Fortunately, I've been receiving text message updates throughout the night. Gotta love it.

Libby said...

chris, take that bp med, and get on a plane & get up here so we can get wasted together..remember, it IS november! & that would get you away from not only work, but also scm for a few days!

Karen said...

If you figure out how eliminate stress and aggravation, please let me know.

coffeypot said...

Not a situation to joke about, dumb ass. Do what you have to do or I will have to send comments to your rehab center - if you can read them, that is. HBP is no joking matter. I wish you well and strength to do what you have to do.

razorbeck said...

lol look on my blog you will hate me lol


Norman said...

oh wow! that IS high! i have the opposite prob: My bp consistently runs 95/78, or something. I know the doctor laughs a lot when he takes it and asks if I'm uber relaxed or something. My cholesterol though....sheesh....230. I'm gonna die....