Well, I did get around blogging last Friday by totally posting a disgusting creepy link about bugs to make you forget that I didn't have a G.D. creative thing to offer you kids.
I have been informed via email that certain people were on to me and I will not be permitted to get away with that shit in the future.
I am trying to run a company and close out a quarter and I need to pull myself away from my calculator, reading glasses and spread sheets in order to “share”.
Okeedooee. Let’s all gather round, hold hands and sing Kumbaya.
Orrrrrr we could talk about Stinky Cheese Man. That would be much more fun.
Those of you that have hung at the kewl kids table for a while are well aware of SCMs occasional hygiene problem due to what I can only guess is his unmanageable, irrational fear that a scary monster is going to come through the drain and nibble on his exposed private parts.
The irony is that if he stood under that cascade of water more often, I'd be nibbling on his exposed private parts!
Perhaps I am being extreme and unreasonable. I was thinking this could be the case the other day when he growled:
“You are being extreme and unreasonable!!”
He also said something about me being a nag, a shrew and something that I didn’t quite catch that sounded a lot like mucking punt… blah blah. Who listens?
I feel I am perfectly reasonable to expect the people that share my home have the same hang-ups and obsessive tendencies as I do.
For goodness sakes, I bathe my dogs three times a week and keep baby wipes on the counters to wipe their feet after walks and faces after meals.
So why can’t SCM get it through his head that even if he showered that morning…he has been smoking, drinking, farting and sweating for the entire day and I really don’t want that body crawling between my clean, white, crisp, cotton sheets! Especially when I happen to be under them already in my freshly washed jammies and freshly scrubbed body.
The man does manual labor while chain smoking Marlboro Lights down to the filters and he can’t understand why he is a bit on the ripe side by the time he gets home?
Okay, so maybe I am a bit demanding and maybe he is getting sick of having to sleep in his chair in the den because he is too tired after working 12 hours to shower.
I just wish the dude would figure out that it is permissible to shower at night even if you won't be getting any poonany.
If not, I'd better put a chiropractor and hooker on speed dial. He is going to be desperately needing both.