Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I Am A Liberal




Apparently, I am a liberal.


I believe each American Citizen has a right to free health care.

(And liposuction and a boob job as needed)

I believe my social security should be in the hands of government and not the stock market.

(Thank goodness we didn’t get roped into privatizing social security or granny would be living with me. That women smells like a mixture of moth balls and depends)

I believe my teenage daughter should be permitted to make her own decisions regarding her reproductive choices .

(I think Suzie being on the pill because she is messing around with that dumb Jock from 4th period is a good thing. But I don’t need or particularly want to know)

I believe in a woman’s right to choose.

(Especially deciding if she is up to dealing with an annoying little crotch dropping for the next 18 years.)

I believe people should be respectful and tolerant of differences and every individual should have the same rights as any other despite their race, color, religion or sexual preferences.

(If you care who your neighbors are fucking or how, you probably should think of getting a little of the ole in and out yourself.)


I believe government has the responsibility to help those that are less fortunate.

(Yes, even that nasty homeless bastard who scrapped his shopping cart against your BMW)

I believe that the government can protect the people without taking away their civil liberties and I believe that liberties should not be sacrificed disguised as protection.

(No, you can not detain me just because I have come from a place where some of the bad guys live. Get the fuck out of my house. Well, unless you brought cake in which case I was just about to put up coffee.)

I think if you censure reading material in any form, you sacrifice free thinking.

(Not only am I allowing, I am encouraging my young daughter to read The Chocolate Wars and I Know Why The Caged Birds Sing and you all should do the same.)

I believe an 18th century light house is more valuable than turning the acres of land it sits on into high priced condominiums. I also believe the government and my taxes should pay to keep our country's history alive.

(Yes, even the bad shit that might be a little embarrassing to future generations. Like the fact we banned books and bulldozed our past to build more Walmarts.)

I believe that it is our obligation to take all steps to ensure we protect every living creature on this earth.

(Except red ants…nasty little bastards)

I believe that Bill Gates should pay a bigger percentage of his income in taxes than I do.

(When he has to drive around to find gas five cents cheaper a gallon, I’ll listen to his problems.)

I do not believe the ten commendments have any business being in any public building.

(Unless the top ten spells of witchcraft are permitted to hang right beside it.)

I believe that art and music are just as important to teach as math and science.

(Especially since I was really shitty at math and science)

Am I a bleeding heart liberal? Fuck, yeah and damn proud of it.

17 comments:

Olly said...

Wow!!! I'd vote for ya!

Burfica said...

I totally agree with you on everything but one. hhahahahaha

I would vote for ya too, you would mow down the losers.

Karen said...

I am a conservative. And I am also proud of it.

I don't see eye to eye with you on a lot of issues. But I respect your beliefs and opinions.

coffeypot said...

I too am a conservative, but more moderate than most. I believe in same sex marriages, a woman’s right to choose, and other stuff that is considered liberal. BTW, Bill Gates and his type (including our people in office who think we are too stupid to handle our money) do not pay income tax. The pay capital gain taxes which are taxed between 15 and 17 percent. If you live off your investments that is what you will pay, too. I also believe that the WORST thing the government has ever done was starting welfare. Immediately those who are lazy stopped working and stuck their hand out. There was no incentive to work. Just my opinion.

What is true is Obama's speeches and promises comes straight out of Carl Marx and the socialist movement. He is a danger to America, not the answer. McCain isn’t much better, but he has served his country in every way possible. I also consider him a Democrat in Republican clothing. He is the better, not by much, choice.

Libby said...

....i'm conservative when it comes to the financial shit...i decide where to spend my $$, not the "government", esp if its tax & spend shit! but i'm liberal on social stuff...

Christine said...

CP as far as I know, Bill Gates is an employee of microsoft and pays income tax. The average microsoft employee is at the cap but my point is that I see no reason why people that are making that kind of money can't throw a bit more into the system that has made them rich. If Bill Gates no longer has a paid position, I stand corrected. I also am well aware that, Mr Gates, the sample I chose is a great contributor to many worthwhile charities as well as the arts. His name is used to signify great wealth...not HIS wealth specifically.

OneHungMan said...

OneHung totally seconds the free boob jobs.

TLP said...

I'm as liberal as they come. If the world were flat, I'd fall off the left hand side.

TLP said...

LOL. Back from taking the test. Not only am I farther left than you, I'm to the left of the Dalai Lama and Nelson Mandela. Damn! My mama would be proud.

Christine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christine said...

YAY TLP will you adopt me? My crazy conservative family is making me nutz. My father literally thinks it is funny to take my yard signs down and hand them to me every time he visits. Which is getting to be too damn often.

Special K said...

I suppose I am mostly a liberal not conservative at all!

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I'm with you on the issues. Thanks for the visit and threats of evil thoughts.

razorbeck said...

Oy Coffepot You have drank the kool aid now its time to lay in the grass and await the aliens

the conservatives hate to admit it(especially american ones) but centre left is the natural politics of the human race or atleast seems to be judging by an average democracy

Almost every true democracy in the world is a centre left government with occasional forrays into right wing nutism when the center lefters have been in power a little too long

Whats happening in Canada, its what happens in the rest of the world

By the way by my reckoning the US Democrats are actually to the right of most other countries right wing parties

Slick said...

Well, we agree on most of the issues....

CrystalChick said...

I agree with so much of that. Okay, ALL of it!
And I think I fall about the same place you do, LEFT, a Dem with a little Libertarian leanings.

I was chatting with my girlfriends hubby recently who I told I wanted to get her finally registered to vote so that she would consider supporting Obama. After I listened to his tirade for about 10 minutes he told me she did register, but they had decided to support the Constitution party guy, Pastor Chuck something or another. He's one of the ones who think the the Ten Commandments should be in all the federal buildings.
What could I say... atleast she's finally voting for someone.

Have a great week!

Alekx said...

Red ants and wasps
They are mean big flying bastards