Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Holy shit. Am I a sucky blogger or what? I can't believe I have not posted shit in over a week.

As if I could possibly go that long with nothing to say.


So for your consideration, I present the highlights of the past week.

I worked, I slept, took several shits and probably picked my nose in my car a few times.

I know, amazing how I accomplished all that in a mere 9 days. Fortunately, I am a multitasker.

School has begun which results in my having to will my fat ass out of bed an hour earlier every day. I would think at nine years of age, the princess could fucking drive herself. A few phone books and a block of wood and she could reach the petals and see out the windshield just fine. I think she's just plain lazy.

I also need to announce that my wonderful son is taking time from school to find himself. Well, shit, I can help him with that.

He is in his room either sleeping until 2pm or playing guitar hero.

There...found. Now put down the controller, put out the joint and get the fuck out of my house.

I shouldn't be so hard on him. After all, he is quite adamant about having a plan.

"My plan is to mooch off of you until you throw my ass out."

Everyone needs a goal and I guess that one is as good as any other.

I'll get to checking up on the kewl kids' blogs really soon. Promise.



janeywan said...

I think my son may have the same plan. lol

Doc said...

Guitar Hero is from the Devil... I say work on giving him the boot.

Jay said...

Well at least the kid has a goal here. Most kids just wander aimlessly through life with no idea what the hell they want or what they are going to do.

CindyDianne said...

Ok, none of it should be terribly funny and yet I laughed. A lot. I think it's time to help him along with his goal. It sounds like 1/2 of it is done already!

Special K said...

You know sometimes the grass is greener! LOL I wish my kid wasn't so gung ho trying to get out in this world and kill himself. Sometimes it's great to just stop and pick the boogers.
And what IS up with your daughter? Man. Kids today! :)

coffeypot said...

I know it's hard on mothers, but the best thing you can do to the son IS kick his ass out. He has no incentive to better himself as long as he has mothers tit to suck on. Tell him McDonalds is calling. Or the Army!

Christine said...

What is hard CP is not seeing him leave it is getting his lazy ass out of my house. He's like a bad penny that keeps showing up. One would think he would WANT to go after having me bitch at him every night but I guess he feels it is the price he pays for free room and board.

"Kid, get the fuck out."
"seriously, I am over it. Go live with your dad or grandparents."
"Fuck that..They'll drive me crazy"

coffeypot said...

Shotgun? 357? Hire some punks to kick his ass. Tell him some girl called as said she is pregnant and wants to marry him. Or just stop feeding him and doing his laundry and stuff. If he comes to the table to eat or goes to the frig to get something, have him pay you first. No more handouts. Or, better yet, while he is asleep, move out of the house into witness protection.

Karen said...

Is your son at least working?? If he is making money and can pay you a little some room and board then I say let him goof off. If not, it is time for him to grow up real fast.

Christine said...

Working? You mean at a job where he might have to get out of bed and be productive? Are you mad??!!!

Olly said...

How is it that your daughter is in school already? Is that a US thing? Our kids don't go back til after Labour Day. I'm gonna lodge a formal complaint!

Jenny Fabulous said...

Hey... it's good to have goals! I fucking hate video games. I wish I could walk over to the Ohio River and throw the XBox as far as i can inside. That is all my 13 yr old wants to do! When I moved in... that devil spawn device went upstairs to their room. I got fucking sick of "pow.pow.pow."
I agree with CP... make him pay a little rent... but that would entail getting a job.. and that would entail getting out of bed. So, you are back to square one.

Fuckin kids.

Burfica said...

Oh man that's why I hate school. I hate getting up early. In the summer, the Kiddo and I didn't crawl our asses out of bed till 9 at the earliest. Now it's 6. That's just evil.

Yeah I would start charging my kid rent, or kicking his ass to the curb. lol Hell I would unplug the guitar hero and sell it. hahahaha Good luck with that.

Libby said...

chris--guitar hero IS the spawn of the devil! i know some 7 yr olds that are hooked on it like crack ho's, nevermind the parents that are right there encouraging, & making bets on who's better!!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You can get one of those gizzies for your computer that locks you out of their site. That would be good, so then you wouldn't know jack shit and he would. Ignorance is bliss.

TLP said...

With John as a wonderful example, how could that boy have gone wrong???

TLP said...

Oh...and thanks for the shits-taken update. I've worried about your pooping.

coffeypot said...

Are you going to post again? You procrastinating? I'm a procrastinator, too. I tell you about it in a minuet.

M Chickk said...

My sis and I LOVE Guitar Hero! We fight the kids over who gets to take the next turn.

Hope all is well and you wont get blasted again. Is Hannah headed your way?