Friday, August 8, 2008

Back To School







School begins again in two weeks. I realize that some of you are anxious for the kiddies to return to the classroom but during the summer I get to sleep in a couple of extra hours each day.

I am getting older and I NEED that extra beauty sleep God Damn It!


I printed the school supplies list off of the Internet and I will be meeting with the bank manager to secure the loan that will be necessary very soon. Two pages of very specific supplies. I am still trying to figure out what she is going to do with 30 boxes of baby wipes and 30 cans of Lysol.
Are the kids THAT dirty and stinky?


I am happy that the Princess's teacher is the same woman she had in 1st grade. Not only is she very nice, she effectively communicates via Internet daily posts. For working mom's like me, that is a beautiful thing. It is nice that she acknowledges that all the kids don't have professional dads and soccer moms despite the hefty tuition.


I think as a teacher it would drive me crazy having all those moms grilling me about their kids every single fucking day but I guess if you came from a school with no parental interaction, it might be nice.
For a day or two.

Then I would imagine you'd miss the junky dads and crack whore moms that stay the hell out of your classroom and don't question every fucking aspect of the lesson plan.

I don't hate SAHMs by any means. It is a great gig if you can get it. They feel like they are very in tune to every aspect of their kids lives.

Of course, being me, I found it necessary to smack down that theory during a Girl Scout "High Tea" recently.

At the end of high tea which consisted of PB&J finger sandwiches with the crusts cut off, the moms and daughters were handed a blank piece of paper.

"We are going to play a game", the leader bubbled. "It is called who knows their daughter the best. We will follow that with who knows their mom the best."

I have to be honest, I fucking panicked. Here I am in a room with SAHMs who live and breath their kids. I would imagine they rarely throw the kid last night's left over pizza for breakfast or simply turn the uniform shirt inside out when they forget to wash it.

20 questions for each of us.
What is your child's favorite TV show.

What is your daughter's favorite color.

Favorite thing to do with Mom.

Blah Blah.

Princess and I got 18/20 and 17/20. The closest soccer mom had 13.

We rock.

Something to be said for quality time. Or perhaps merely paying attention.

Sorry to bore you all today. We'll talk more about oral sex next week.



9 comments:

Nilsa S. said...

I can't believe school is already starting. A sure sign summer is on its way out. Boo hoo.

Mary said...

I hate the fact that school is already starting. I just got used to it being summer.

And Chris, you rock. As another working mom, you're my hero - love that you smoked that quiz at the scout's meeting. lol

moooooog35 said...

When you talk about oral sex next week, will it also involve these soccer moms?

Let me know - I'm on the verge of bookmarking you. That answer could tip the scales in your favor!

By the way - thanks for the visit and the comment! I alway enjoy disturbing new readers.

Jay said...

SAHM just like to talk big about being sooooo close to their kids and shit. Actually they send the kid off to their bedroom where the kid has a computer, TV and stereo and SAHM watch The View then some soap operas and then Oprah.

See if that gets me some hate mail. LOL ;-)

coffeypot said...

School has already started here and the bus stops in front of my house. I have no idea why since the misses and I quit popping out kids 40 years ago. But I noticed that half the kids are white and half the kids are black and half are Asian. But the bus is only partially full and leaves for the next stop at 5 mph and ff the next stop is five blocks away, what is the percentage of the time they will spend in the lunchroom? Now I'm sure there is some MIT shit out there who will be able to figure this out. If you do, good! But keep it to yourself. I personally don't give a shit because my time in formal education is OVER.

Olly said...

I'm sooo excited about school starting soon. I work from a home office which makes summer very difficult being our busy work season and busy kid season. Lot's of people think I'm a SAHM and therefore available for volunteering for every fricking field trip, etc. Not to mention the soccer moms thinking I'm snubbing them when I can't come over to watch Oprah and drink coffee all day.

School? Bring it on!!!

Mel Chickk said...

I hate spending a fortune on all the crap on the school list. Half of it they never even use OR by the time they need it its been long ago lost and I have to buy it again!

Oh, btw...its offical now. Granny time!

Burfica said...

my kid starts school on tuesday. And I spent 100 bucks in supplies, and I don't even have a list yet. I will be getting a list from all 5 teachers in the first week they said. And every specific fucking thing they want. Pisses me off, Whatever happened to just pencils, paper and erasers???

Karen said...

I actually like the fact that school is starting. Not to sound like a scrooge, but kids running the streets after dark, causing a ruckus always dies down once school starts.

Thank goodness for working moms. They get to show their kids how strong a woman can be.