Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Merry Christmas Muther Fu...


Today is the company's annual Christmas luncheon.  So obviously I am sitting in my office with the door closed, blogging.  I plan to continue this behavior until the last possible moment when I can walk in, slap a piece of ham on my plate along with some other casserole looking mush and a crusty deviled egg or two.

I brought the ham so I know it is safe for consumption, the rest will end up casually tossed away.  I've seen many of these people's homes.  If it ain't store bought in factory sealing, I ain't goin' near it.

Shudder.

What freaks me out is most staff actually enjoy these little get togethers.  True I allow them a longer lunch and pay them for it but geez, they have to hang out with the folks then spend the other 364 days a year bitching about. 

So I will go in, collect my cheap secret santa gift of CVS candles or last year's regifted body lotion, smile and laugh in fake delight and merriment.

All the while thinking...

Bah Humbug fuckers.

9 comments:

The Dish said...

Ahem. This was the most perfect Christmas post of the year! Bravo, Chris.

GiGi said...

I always hated work Christmas parties...the worst one ever, was when I lived in New Orleans....no spouses allowed. WTF?

Vinomom said...

I always love your little cartoons.

I think the problem is you didn't add alcohol to the party. Alcohol makes it allll better.

razorbeck said...

Hmm I am in the same position as Chris

While alcahol might make it all better it also adds a whole nother layer to Chris's responsibility and frankly it is not worth it

Besides could Chris really hold back from smacking ole stinky britches with a few glasses of courage in her?

Anonymous said...

My husband's company used to have fabulous big Christmas parties where everyone had to dress formally for a big dinner and dance. One year they just .... stopped. Now the company is NOT suffering for cash. We're not sure what happened. Then for a few years they had those luncheons you mention. Of course families weren't involved, which sort of sucked because we got to go to the Christmas dinner/dance and they had GREAT gift give-aways. Things like appliances and trips and hotel stays etc. Now, they get a frozen turkey. I'm sure by next year we'll get a can of cranberries.

This is bohica but I can't remember my damned password.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I loathe office parties and even more than that, I am terribly suspicious of "pot luck" type gatherings. I told the Evil Twin to STAY AWAY from all mayo based appetizers and smell anything else carefully. Stick with the veggie tray and chips and you won't end up with explosive diarrhea later. He finally believes me!

Coffeypot said...

I never had that problem. I just never went in and ate. I would go out or just call in sick. I hate office parties.

Christine said...

Well, this is part one of the festivities. Our dinner party with our significant others invited is this Saturday night. The alcohol flows freely during that sukka. But thanks for the remminder Razor to stay away from Mrs Stinky McSmellslikeass or I will say something that she will regret.

Karen said...

Oh you big Scrooge!