Geez, am I behind in life or what? I haven’t sent out a Christmas card, made a cookie or wrapped a present. I wouldn’t have any lights on my house if SCM hadn’t been ambitious and skilled at ladder balancing on rain soaked soil and begonias.
However, I have almost completed my shopping. This is no great feat as I am a shopaholic and buying things for people year round is a hobby of mine. I just have to slap a bow upon them and voila, greetings of the season.
I did get some bad news recently. A mass was discovered on my kidney several months ago which required test upon test upon test. I was hoping it could be removed laproscopically but that is not to be. In order to remove the mass, they need to take my entire kidney. I am honored that I have been offered so many vital organs that I could sell kidneys on ebay and pay for the surgery twice over. A good friend allows you to bitch about your BF being an asshole. A great friend offers to have a huge scar across their back for the rest of their life. Fortunately, I explained that my other kidney is fine and I probably won’t be taking them up on their offer. How do you properly thank someone for something like that though? A fruit basket doesn't quite cut it.
In an effort to further procrastinate I am going to get a third opinion. Yes, I am in denial but I was so hoping that the surgery would be an easy one and removing the entire fucker is a lot more complicated and takes a huge recovery period. The good news is I will get to blog more. The bad news is I will be bored and have nothing to say.
I am really not looking for sympathy and have been telling people who say they are “praying for me” to pick something a little more worthy to spend their G-d merits. Whatever happens I am not going to be letting a surgeon near me with a sharp object until next year. He’ll just have to pay for his kid's Zhu Zhu pets without my help.