So Much To Do, So Little Time

Geez, am I behind in life or what? I haven’t sent out a Christmas card, made a cookie or wrapped a present. I wouldn’t have any lights on my house if SCM hadn’t been ambitious and skilled at ladder balancing on rain soaked soil and begonias.


However, I have almost completed my shopping. This is no great feat as I am a shopaholic and buying things for people year round is a hobby of mine. I just have to slap a bow upon them and voila, greetings of the season.

I did get some bad news recently. A mass was discovered on my kidney several months ago which required test upon test upon test. I was hoping it could be removed laproscopically but that is not to be. In order to remove the mass, they need to take my entire kidney. I am honored that I have been offered so many vital organs that I could sell kidneys on ebay and pay for the surgery twice over. A good friend allows you to bitch about your BF being an asshole. A great friend offers to have a huge scar across their back for the rest of their life. Fortunately, I explained that my other kidney is fine and I probably won’t be taking them up on their offer. How do you properly thank someone for something like that though?  A fruit basket doesn't quite cut it.
In an effort to further procrastinate I am going to get a third opinion. Yes, I am in denial but I was so hoping that the surgery would be an easy one and removing the entire fucker is a lot more complicated and takes a huge recovery period. The good news is I will get to blog more. The bad news is I will be bored and have nothing to say.

I am really not looking for sympathy and have been telling people who say they are “praying for me” to pick something a little more worthy to spend their G-d merits. Whatever happens I am not going to be letting a surgeon near me with a sharp object until next year. He’ll just have to pay for his kid's Zhu Zhu pets without my help.

Off to wrap. Or nap. Decisions decisions.

Friday Already?

I am far to stressed out to write about my stressed outness.

I will leave you with my Friday link of the week, Peeve pile.  I'll let others do the bitching for me today.

Have a great weekend kiddos.

Mama Mia

I really enjoy ragging on the crazy, unique, wonderful, psychopath I call Mother.

However, tonight I have a story with Mother participating where she was actually not the cause of the anger, misunderstandings and intense bowel cramping.

Mother and my brother's wife are having a disagreement.

No, that isn't right.

They aren't communicating their pissed off attitude towards each other, rather they are sickening sweet as usual.

No, each is griping about the other to the rest of the family...

and friends, neighbors and the UPS guy.

My sister in law is accusing Mother of spoiling her step son, Mother's grandson. Now I haven't read every page of the Grandparent's Handbook but I am pretty sure spoiling of the grandkids is allowed if not mandatory.

SIL is ticked because the last time her son needed a haircut, Mother bribed him with a video game.  Now my nephew is refusing to go with his step mother to get a haircut but is waiting until Grandma can take him so he can score some more loot..

I am so damn proud that he is learning the fine art of manipulation at a young age, a skill that will benefit him greatly in later life. That's my boy!  But I digress...

Instead of my SIL telling the little shit to get in the G-d Damn car because they are going to Hair Cuttery, she is blaming Mother for the fact that she is too much of a wimp to parent.

It is so confusing actually taking Mother's side in a disagreement.  I need to hang out with the woman for a day so she can do something fucked up and right my world.

I can't stand it anymore!!!!

Everywhere I look there is someone posting about the Tiger Woods saga.

People, get a fucking LIFE!!  Who the hell cares if they are having trouble?  If she is getting her ass beat or beating his ass with his nine iron, why is it such a concern to you?

This "incident" occurred in my area so it is TIGER this and TIGER that 24/7 on the news.  The only reason we are getting inundated with this shit is because his troubles sell commericals.  If people didn't give a shit and switch off the TV, I might be able to get the actually news about great sales on Prada at the local outlet.

Priorities People!!!

I hate to be a wimp, but it is freakin' COLD in Florida tonight. I know many of you are suffering with freezing temperatures but 45 degrees and rainy has me in three shirts and two pairs of socks. If I could type wearing mittens, I would have those on too.

I knew I should have bought that electric blanket when I saw it on black friday. Who would have thunk it?

I COULD turn the heat on but it would be the first time this season and it will set the smoke alarms off.

Don't ask.


SCM is lucky he is out playing because he wouldn't be getting any on this night. As a matter of fact, he may have to go back to his own room across the house as I refuse to have cold feet anywhere within three feet of me tonight.
During the princesses skating lesson today I couldn't even go into the rink area without shivering uncontrollable and the dogs are pissing all over the house because they refuse to put their paws on the cold wet grass.  (Anyone know where I can get four pairs of tiny little boots?)
Yeah...we Florida residents are wimpy.
Why don't I hear the sympathy I so rightly deserve from out there in cyberland???

 HUMPH.

Before I link my website of the week I will offer my favorite comment from yesterday...

Anonymous said...



So you are dating a guy and fucking your "ex"husband. What a fucking little whore you are.


12/3/09 10:37 PM

Wait until next week when I share my escapades with the gentlemen I have met on the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist.  There doesn't seem to be enough of sexy me to go around...  Sigh. 

Although I wouldn't particulary mind if Anonymous's senario were true, unfortunately, the guy I was seeing dumped my ass when I sent a text message to him that wasn't exactly meant for him.  Never got around to doin' the wild thing or he probably wouldn't have been so fast to give me the boot.

Okay, he probably would but I will allow myself to continue to think highly of my expertise in that area.

Some guys are so damn picky about that being in love with someone else shit. 

So to clarify, SCM and I are back together and working it out.  Or trying too.  We've been here before but I am nothing if not feebleminded optimistic.

In any case, my fun site of the week is  Retail Hell Underground.  During this shopping season, lets take some pity on the people that work in customer service that have to deal with our stressed out asses.

Have a great weekend.

Wow.

For the last couple of weeks, I have been spending my days at work and my nights under SCM.

Well, that isn't exactly true.  My nights have been under, on top, facing, not facing, upside down, standing, sitting on a chair, leaning on the bathroom counter, oh and there was this one time....

Nevermind...

Ever since the guy I am married to had his heart seize up, he really has been like a changed person.  Personally, it has been quite a shock and I've been waiting for the normal John to return and explode that the world is crumbling around us and it is the fault of Hollywood ,the Arabs and the old man down the street who doesn't water his lawn enough.

  Of course he is consuming hand fulls of pills for everything from cholesterol to mood stabilizers but hey, better living through chemistry looks great on him.

SCM and I have been this happy little couple to the outside world since he was released from the hospital and then it occurred to me...

Hey, if we are acting like a happy couple, why aren't I getting any?

This is BULLSHIT!

So I corrected that glitch and have been in correction mode for days now.  Now I remember why I married him in the first place.

Wow.