Sunday, July 12, 2009

Yesterday was the office’s annual summer picnic.

I awoke early, went out and purchased my food contribution, came home and promptly fell asleep until 5pm.


Anyone know what I can do with 50 half pints of Hagan Daz?

The fact that I missed this fucking thing is a big problem. The joke of the office is Chris never attends any events. Seeing that I am the boss and are forced to appoint people to organize these bullshit get togethers, I really should make an appearance.

Yet I simply do not want to. I have enough of these people Monday through Friday and in my free time, the last thing I want to do is to make small talk with folks I wouldn’t befriend if I met them outside the office. The only reason we have these events is the staff insists on them.

Personally, I would rather ask them to split the grand they cost and go shopping. Just leave me the fuck out of it.

You may think I am antisocial and you would be absolutely correct. I barely have the time or inclination to talk to the people I like let alone those I don’t. As a matter of fact, if it weren’t for text messaging, I would have lost the few close friends I do have long ago. One of the prerequisites for being my friend is to not expect to hear from me often and still remember I love you to death. I takes a strong person to hang in there and for those that do..big smooches all around. My ideal down time is a good book either on ipod or paperback, (Kindle is the devil's invention) my fluffy pillow, a glass of merlot and complete silence.

The problem is I actually have fun when I do hang out with people I like. I have fun, they have fun which leads to being invited again.

And I would love to do that.

In six or eight months.

To make matters worse are the obligatory hangs. Those are the ones with the princess’s friend’s parents or SCM band wives.

Ummm, yuck.

First of all, I am at least ten years older than the other parents and have zero in common with them. The shit they are going through, I did with number one son a dozen or so years ago. On top of that, they are mostly SAHMs which is one of the situations that come with sending your child to private school. Dad makes some good buckage and Mom gets to make healthy lunches and sit on the side line at soccer practice. I do not have that luxury.

Two situations come into mind that threw me for a loop. The first was when I had a birthday party for the princess at my home. A dad attended that had the reputation for buddying up to the other fathers that had lucrative careers. Looking around my home admiringly, he asked what my husband did. When I explained he is a part time musicians that does odd jobs, he looked perplexed and walked away. I really believe to this day it never occurred to him that I am the one that supports the household.

The other was when my son was being evaluated for a learning disability by a psychologist. We were talking about his background and his relationship with his father. When I told him the relationship was shaking at best, he commented that his father must be pretty active in his life to be willing to pay for private school. Ummm, no. Those checks are written by yours truly.

I guess two situations in ten years isn’t a trend but it really does say that some of us are still back in Ozzy and Harriett days of America.

Hmmmm, and how the hell did I jump to the social economic changes of the dynamics of the family unit in the twenty first century?

Afterall, what I really need to know is what the fuck I am going to do with all this ice cream!


Golden To Silver Val said...

OMG its so refreshing to hear someone who feels the same way I do about company picnics!!!!! I hate them and have used just about every excuse known to man to get out of attending. Same goes for 'office parties'. When I have a day off, I sure as hell don't want to spend it with my co-workers! Not saying that they aren't nice people, its just I need to do stuff that I really want to do on those days and being with them is not high on my list. I thought there was something wrong with I know there is at least ONE other person who is in the same boat. (I suspect there are MANY of us). Keep smilin'.

Lindi said...

I agree, I spend enough time with the people from work during work hours.
My hubby likes to go to my office X-mas party...not to socialize, but to get free food.
They have started to have Baby showers after work.
The couple of people I actually consider friends from work, I will socialize with them, but we only go out once every couple of months.
I hate it when the big wigs refer to the company as a family...UGH!

Christine said...

I totally refer to my staff as family. A big dysfunctional, fighting, bullshitting around doing nothing, family. :-)

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I also never liked attending social work functions. I do enjoy having company come over on weekends.

The Evil Twin and I have the traditional arrangement (he works, I stay home with the kids), but he does not make good money. I'm just good at creative financing. :-)

coffeypot said...

Uh! Eat it! Duh!

As for the Ozzie and Harriett comment, don't you clean your house in a dress and heals wearing pearl necklace. No! White Trash!

Colin Brooks said...

Why not just give the ice cream out at work next Monday. It should cheer them up. If it were me I'd keep it for myself and eat it all but then again I'm a greedy bastard.

I am like you when it comes to socialising with people from work. Work is not my life and I want my space and time for myself. Like you said, you give up enough of your time to be around them that they should respect that you need your time off work when it's time to be off work. It's hard though... Ugh, now I want an ice cream.

Libby said...

christine..."went out and purchased my food contribution,"
what?? you didnt MAKE something?? better yet...have SCM make meatballs...that way you'd get a laugh out of everyone eating them...(not to mention peace & quiet at work the next day, since everyone would call in sick!)

The Girl said...

That's just nuts...I make more money than the asshole and every one assumes that everything is his. Did you re-freeze the ice cream?

bohica said...

You have my address ... you sent me a LOVELY CD of music that I listen to until it makes my husband's ears bleed. SEND ME ICE CREAM.

Thank you very much.

The Traveling Salesman said...

So funny again! I hear ya about the income deal. Some years my wife rolls it in like she just picks up cash on the sidewalks. I tell everyone I work with to fuck off since my wife makes the money anyway!

Love your writing!

Libby said...

christine? are you okay?? i miss you!!

Christine said...

Yeah..Im fine. I just suck. I have a story for you kids that I am working up in my mind on how to tell it. I may need to turn it into two entries even though it is about the same family. I will get to it this week. Busy busy in the sunshine state.

Efen said...

I agree w/ your sentiments 100 fucking percent! I used to have an employee/spouse Christmas Party every year...dinner and open bar at a nice place. Then I started hearing how 'so and so' didn't like the place because his filet wasn't cooked how he liked it, or the wife of 1 employee thought it would be better for me not to spend the $$, just split it up and add it to the bonuses...WTF??

Do they think I held this event because I liked hanging them or their goofy fucking spouses??

I stopped doing it and I feel much better ;)

As for as the ice cream goes...invite a bunch of kids'll be gone in no time ;)