I was invited to a small dinner party a good friend of mine is hosting this evening.

I have a few concerns about the outing.

This is a woman who doesn't own a vacuum and opens her windows wide to move the dust around once a month.

The type of person that if her dishes come out of the dishwasher still crusty, she considers it leftovers.

The friend you insist she bring the bottled soda to pot luck luncheons because you found dog hair and cigarette ashes in the mystery casserole she brought to the previously shindig.

Needless to say, I am not overly excited about my prospects for this evening which I picture concluding with a trip to the ER to have my stomach pumped.

I suggested we all pitch in for Chinese food or Pizza so we could enjoy each other's company and she wasn't stuck in the kitchen cleaning up all evening.

HA!

Of course she responded that she had no intention of doing that and dishes can wait until the following day.

Or month in her case.

As if this evenings menu wasn't frightening enough, she is also excited about attempting some new recipe she found for watermelon and cucumber gazpacho .

Ummmmm....

When I pointed out that watermelon wasn't in season she informed me she will improvise.

I was afraid to ask.

I love this friend to death. The other people on the guest list are outgoing and humorous and I believe the night will be a blast.

Now if I can only figure out how to slip an entire bowl of gazpacho in my hand bag.

**Update:
No medical treatment required although I did get skived out when I heard a crunch as I stepped on what I am hoping was an old raisin.

She used cantaloupe as a substitute for the watermelon and served it in plastic bowls with plastic spoons.

I was polite and tasted it. So were my fellow house guests. The look on each of our faces cracked up our hostess who had bagged Cesar salad as a back up.

We unanimously agreed to meet at my house next time.

I think we should start a tradition on who can come up with the weirdness meal. I wonder where she got that gazpacho recipe? Maybe they have instructions for making fried frogs legs with peanut butter sauce.