It's Thursday Already

I have no date for Friday or Saturday night. Big freakin' surprise.

I simply do not understand why there are not rich and attractive men banging....

on my DOOR.

Okay, yeah, on that too.

I continue to peruse dating sights like plentyoffish.com and match.com for my prince charming.

I was looking at Craigslist but decided that I really don't want to be tied up and flogged with spaghetti by some married man.

Although, perhaps I am being too selective. I mean, maybe I could take a doggy bag of pasta home for the next day lunch.

Since I am a wise ass, of course I had to respond to some of the more outrageous Craigslist ads with one simple sentence...

What's in it for me?

Evidentially, what I am in for is as follows.......

A BIG dick baby... (yes I am sure he is)

I will eat your ----- out for hours. (Believe me, if I have time to lay in bed for hours, I am taking a fucking nap)

Nothing too dangerous or too painful. ( Whew...what a relief. I hate scarring.)

I want to pound out that tught pretty kitty all night long. (I think fluffy would prefer a good scratching and a bowl of milk)

Looking for NSA fun (Do I even want to know what NSA is?)

and the most confusing to date...

A french lesson would be fine, more if you are interested.

Is it possible that men still don't know how to work their way into a woman's bed?

There was not one offer to clean out my garage, change my oil or mow my lawn.